Oh yes he did!

Me - You can't be serious!?!?

Him - I am

Me - You aren't coming up here JUST to have sex!?!!

Him - Well it won't just be sex, we will be kissing too.

Me - You're pulling my leg

Him - I'm absolutely serious, what's a good time?

Me - I'm going out for my birthday Saturday night.

Him - Well I could come over earlier for a quickie

Me - You're so playing with me. That's so wrong!

Him - (pleading) Awh... Come on... You know you want to. You're so mean, why aren't you being nice to me? And I need a quickie. You know you want it too...

Me - (having a hard time concentrating because of the longing in his voice) ...

Him - Please?!

Me - (Sarcastically) sure then come over at noon...

Him - That'll give us 6 hours... What if I need more time?

Me - (still in disbelief) Fine, make it 9...

Him - ok I'll need directions

Me - I know you can't be serious about this.

Him - You should see how serious I am! Do you want a picture?

Me - (mouth drops to the floor)

Him - (laughs)

Me - ...(Calling his bluff) Sure send it over!

Him - I can't do that! I can't believe you'd ask!

Me - I didn't ask, you offered, I decided to take you up on it.

Him - Guess where my hand is?

Me - You can't be serious!?!

Him - Just guess

Me - On your stomach

Him - nope

Me - on your head

Him - come on, I know you can do better then that

Me - on your chest

Him - I know you can be more dirty then that!

Me - in your armpits

Him - Think dirtier.

Me - You can't be touching yourself!?!?

Him - With how perverted you are, I can't believe you're not guessing. I know you know. Just say it.

Me - Fine... Are you touching yourself down there? (oddly not able to say the word penis or dick)

Him - Yup!

Me - (Jaw drops again) Are you rubbing?

Him - mmhmmm

Me - How hard are you?

Him - Well I have to go to bed now. Goodnight!