Work has kept me busy so I haven't had as much time to chitchat with Obsession and he noticed. Which is nice.
I was looking at the photos that I have of him and realized he's not as attractive as I keep thinking. There is something about him when I see him in person that sets me a flutter. Not sure why. Maybe he's just not as photogenic. Not sure.
But speaking of those photos, I finally asked him to show what issues he was having about downloading those photos and he showed me. As an example he took the one selfie I took out of the bunch and said "Let's say I want to download this photo, how do I go about downloading it?" and I showed him. Sure enough he saved it in a personal folder. And then went through the other photos and selected one of me with the girl that works in his area. I tried not to look over his shoulder at what photos he was saving so I walked away, heart pounding.
I'm leaving in about 10 minutes. I haven't seen him since Friday of last week. But for some reason I felt the need to send him an email. We've talked about my marriage some. My husband and I are having slight issues. And before you get the wrong impression, I was very vague and mostly putting my own responses on blast. Joking that I put things neatly in a box and pack them away and apparently my husband hadn't had a chance to process the contents so it caused an issue. So now it's kind of a joke, he told me to have fun camping and to be sure to get things boxed up properly. So I sent him an email this morning saying everything was nicely boxed up indicating my husband and I are doing well. :) And the email thread kept growing to my surprise. I kept expecting the short non-interested responses I'm used to. But he kept it going. Telling me to have a Happy Birthday, remembering the day. I told him if I throw something together I'd let him know.
In my mind I no longer worry so much. Probably because as much as I enjoy his personality I don't want anything more than friendship. Sure in the beginning I was fantasizing about inappropriate things, ;) but now... I'm more relaxed and just enjoy his friendship. Still obsessive... but nothin like I was.
Like I'm hoping they invite me to the lunch they plan for their units September birthdays... Since some days and a few times he's brought up, I feel more part of their unit than my own. Or if I do plan a birthday event, I want to invite him and his family. But then I freak out thinking he would come. He lives in a big house and I live in a small apartment. So yeah, still obsessive about him in weird ways. But for now... I'm off...
Thursday, August 30, 2018
Wednesday, August 15, 2018
Hmmmm?
Well it's so strange I go through phases... Last week I was determined to stay away from Obsession. This week is a short week and this morning has been... interesting. I stopped to get donuts for a group at work that I needed to get some for and decided to get my area donuts as well. I knew what Obsession liked so I got him his kind. Brought it to him this morning and told him I couldn't help myself. We had a nice chat. Laughing as usual. We got on the topic of another guys' attractiveness in the office and he joked that he hears about the other guys' attractiveness a lot. And I asked him if he knew he was attractive like that, and then I said, well you are attractive. He thanked me and we moved on.
His coworkers showed up and we kept talking. We got on the topic of Ed Sheeran and how he's not very attractive but the more you get to know him he's a great guy in his interviews etc. that he becomes more attractive. And Obsession's coworker asked if guys were like that. That getting to know someone's personality made them more attractive. He said yes. She pried more saying she didn't think guys were like that, that most were shallow. He went into detail, that if a girl was fun to be around, had great conversations and was complimentary he would find himself attracted to her. And I couldn't help but wonder if he was saying that for my benefit. ONLY because I had just complimented him. We talked about Ex and how he wasn't very attractive but he treated me really well. Obsession asked what happened to him. I shared about how we didn't share the same beliefs and he was as deep as a puddle. Obsession asked if I had given him a chance. I told him we were together for 4 years, I definitely gave him a chance.
But Obsession's coworker mentioned that she heard a song and got teary-eyed thinking of Obsession and his cute little family and how much he loves them and how he better stay with his wife.
Update: So towards the end of the day I get an email from Obsession asking how he downloads the photos I shared of our work event. I'm still kind of surprised he wants them. But he was on his way out the door and said he'd talk to me about it today but he's at training this morning and will be available after I leave for my own work event and tomorrow I'm workin in the local office. So alas I guess it'll have to wait till next week. But again... interesting that he actually wants to download the photos.
His coworkers showed up and we kept talking. We got on the topic of Ed Sheeran and how he's not very attractive but the more you get to know him he's a great guy in his interviews etc. that he becomes more attractive. And Obsession's coworker asked if guys were like that. That getting to know someone's personality made them more attractive. He said yes. She pried more saying she didn't think guys were like that, that most were shallow. He went into detail, that if a girl was fun to be around, had great conversations and was complimentary he would find himself attracted to her. And I couldn't help but wonder if he was saying that for my benefit. ONLY because I had just complimented him. We talked about Ex and how he wasn't very attractive but he treated me really well. Obsession asked what happened to him. I shared about how we didn't share the same beliefs and he was as deep as a puddle. Obsession asked if I had given him a chance. I told him we were together for 4 years, I definitely gave him a chance.
But Obsession's coworker mentioned that she heard a song and got teary-eyed thinking of Obsession and his cute little family and how much he loves them and how he better stay with his wife.
Update: So towards the end of the day I get an email from Obsession asking how he downloads the photos I shared of our work event. I'm still kind of surprised he wants them. But he was on his way out the door and said he'd talk to me about it today but he's at training this morning and will be available after I leave for my own work event and tomorrow I'm workin in the local office. So alas I guess it'll have to wait till next week. But again... interesting that he actually wants to download the photos.
Friday, August 03, 2018
Flutters ... Again...
Obsession - So... the flutters have started again... *sigh*
I was getting good about keeping my cool and even feeling like there was nothing inappropriate about wanting to get to know my Obsession better. Then yesterday, flutters... Again. Daydreaming... Again...
A couple things... He's starting to remember things we talk about. Like he said he drove by my apartment and after he passed by realized he couldn't remember which one I said was mine. So now he knows. The fact that he remembered enough to actually pay attention and sadly that he thought of me outside of work made me happier than it should have. In fact, Monday I remember walking out in my pjs and suddenly felt self conscious that he might have seen me makes me wonder if it was the exact same moment he was driving by! He said he noticed the management companies sign. So now he knows and will be looking... *sigh* I started daydreaming about him stopping by. Starting to work out with the Husband Creature. So innocent daydreaming but still daydreaming.
And then Wednesday we had interviews for my replacement and I felt really good about this set. Like, something inside knows that this is the group. The other two sets of interviews I didn't feel it like I do now. So I'm convinced God is prepping me. They will find my replacement and I will be moving to my local office. No longer available to chat daily with Obsession, and it makes me sad! But I will see him here and there... Just not as much. And it's probably a good thing. But it has caused some daydreaming. Like potential coffee dates, running into him at the local office and wondering how he'd act towards me, etc.
I keep having to go to his office to chat. So it makes me feel silly, like I'm forcing myself on him. But when we start chatting, it's obvious that I'm not an annoyance. He seems to keep the conversation going, he's very engaging... And time passes like nothing.
I did something silly yesterday, now I regret it. I left a note on his car saying "Have a great weekend :)". Once I drove away I worried I crossed a line but it was too late to change it. I have thought about doing it before but felt silly and never did it. I should have kept that thought process. I didn't get a chance to say bye because I was talking to a coworker on my way out. And because I'm obsessive I felt weird about it, I did something I now regret.
He mentioned something about a girl in the local office and told me to try something and mention his name. So this morning when I came into the local office, I did what he said, and sure enough what he said would happen, did. So I told her "Obsession" said you'd say that. We laughed. I told her she should call and tell him. Sure enough she did, they had a good laugh. I tried not to eavesdrop. But after her conversation she came to talk to me about it. He mentioned that I make the best chocolate chip cookies and told her to tell me to make her some. lol Again... love the fact that he thought about me enough to bring me up to her at all.
ACK! I am such a stalker! I just found out there's a list of every employees address and what do you think I did?! Googled Obsessions address! I'm such a stalker! But he is WAY out there. No wonder I never run into him around town! Though he passes my place for his kids soccer practice, there's no other reason for him to be out this way. *sigh* Guess I can relax any time I'm out and about. lol
HunkofBabe - I haven't talked about him much. But he deleted me off Facebook forever ago and finally go the guts to request him back. He added me and then a week or so later deleted me. At first it really bothered me but then I just figured, oh well...
Colorado - Well apparently he isn't ghosting, but he doesn't seem to care to communicate right now. He seems fine with his divorce and is enjoying time out in the wilderness away from technology. So I've decided to just let him be... I'm sad we don't chat as much. But I think he goes through phases of needing to prove he doesn't need anyone. I told him I missed our chats and he didn't seem to acknowledge it.
I was getting good about keeping my cool and even feeling like there was nothing inappropriate about wanting to get to know my Obsession better. Then yesterday, flutters... Again. Daydreaming... Again...
A couple things... He's starting to remember things we talk about. Like he said he drove by my apartment and after he passed by realized he couldn't remember which one I said was mine. So now he knows. The fact that he remembered enough to actually pay attention and sadly that he thought of me outside of work made me happier than it should have. In fact, Monday I remember walking out in my pjs and suddenly felt self conscious that he might have seen me makes me wonder if it was the exact same moment he was driving by! He said he noticed the management companies sign. So now he knows and will be looking... *sigh* I started daydreaming about him stopping by. Starting to work out with the Husband Creature. So innocent daydreaming but still daydreaming.
And then Wednesday we had interviews for my replacement and I felt really good about this set. Like, something inside knows that this is the group. The other two sets of interviews I didn't feel it like I do now. So I'm convinced God is prepping me. They will find my replacement and I will be moving to my local office. No longer available to chat daily with Obsession, and it makes me sad! But I will see him here and there... Just not as much. And it's probably a good thing. But it has caused some daydreaming. Like potential coffee dates, running into him at the local office and wondering how he'd act towards me, etc.
I keep having to go to his office to chat. So it makes me feel silly, like I'm forcing myself on him. But when we start chatting, it's obvious that I'm not an annoyance. He seems to keep the conversation going, he's very engaging... And time passes like nothing.
I did something silly yesterday, now I regret it. I left a note on his car saying "Have a great weekend :)". Once I drove away I worried I crossed a line but it was too late to change it. I have thought about doing it before but felt silly and never did it. I should have kept that thought process. I didn't get a chance to say bye because I was talking to a coworker on my way out. And because I'm obsessive I felt weird about it, I did something I now regret.
He mentioned something about a girl in the local office and told me to try something and mention his name. So this morning when I came into the local office, I did what he said, and sure enough what he said would happen, did. So I told her "Obsession" said you'd say that. We laughed. I told her she should call and tell him. Sure enough she did, they had a good laugh. I tried not to eavesdrop. But after her conversation she came to talk to me about it. He mentioned that I make the best chocolate chip cookies and told her to tell me to make her some. lol Again... love the fact that he thought about me enough to bring me up to her at all.
ACK! I am such a stalker! I just found out there's a list of every employees address and what do you think I did?! Googled Obsessions address! I'm such a stalker! But he is WAY out there. No wonder I never run into him around town! Though he passes my place for his kids soccer practice, there's no other reason for him to be out this way. *sigh* Guess I can relax any time I'm out and about. lol
HunkofBabe - I haven't talked about him much. But he deleted me off Facebook forever ago and finally go the guts to request him back. He added me and then a week or so later deleted me. At first it really bothered me but then I just figured, oh well...
Colorado - Well apparently he isn't ghosting, but he doesn't seem to care to communicate right now. He seems fine with his divorce and is enjoying time out in the wilderness away from technology. So I've decided to just let him be... I'm sad we don't chat as much. But I think he goes through phases of needing to prove he doesn't need anyone. I told him I missed our chats and he didn't seem to acknowledge it.
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