Obsession - So I haven't seen my Obsession for over a week since he went on vacation. We had a great week prior to his vacation though. We had a work function and we spent some time hanging out. He came up and hugged me when he first saw me. We got our photo taken together. It was odd, I asked him and the way it came out was I wanted him, I noticed the awkwardness but I didn't correct it. :-/ But I now have a photo with him. (Though side note: I was glad to show him all the photos so he could see he wasn't the only person I asked to take a photo with me. He commented on how I have a big smile in all the photos with everyone.) After the photo I asked where his people were, he said he wasn't sure but then asked me *who* my people were. I told him honestly I wasn't sure, that I felt like I belonged to his group as well as others. He agreed he felt I belonged with them. He said they couldn't have some of the conversations they do without me. We spent quite a bit of time chatting. It was great to hang out outside of the office. It made me happy to see that as long as he's worked here, he didn't jump away from our chats to catch up with other people he'd run into. He stayed walking with me.
The next day he wanted to show me more stuff, communicated more, seemed eager to talk. Which I took as a good sign of a friendship forming. But then he went on vacation...
I sent him a text reminding him that he and his family were invited to my Husband Creature's Bday BBQ. I wasn't surprised not to get a response. I kind of figured it was a long shot and he'd mention it when I saw him at work. I was surprised the day of the party to receive a text from him! He was too tired from his daughters soccer tournament otherwise they would have come. Which was honestly unexpected. I had other people flake altogether and still no explanation as to why. So I appreciated that.
And in all honesty with how crappy I felt about myself that day, I'm kind of glad he wasn't there. I felt all swollen and sweaty and a hot mess from running around with an AC that didn't work very well. I actually got the impression that was why he didn't stop by himself. He said he spent the day baking in the sun and was hot and sweaty.
We had a nice chat this morning about the party and his vacation. He said I looked well rested. lol Not sure why that seemed odd. He seemed disappointed he didn't stop by the BBQ. He said he's been getting headaches, to the point that taking steps feels like each step is pounding in his head. Poor guy. But that was about all of the interaction we had because he was having a short day. He had a doctor's appointment.
Colorado - Things with Colorado are weird. And I'm not sure how to feel about it. I always worry he's ghosting again. He said he never would do that again. But I also know he's going through a divorce. He said he announced it to the kids after their 10 year wedding anniversary. Which was last week. It's so crazy to me that people can work at a marriage for so long and just give up. Too many people I know are getting divorced after 10+ years of marriage. It's scary. And posts like mine about my Obsession probably make me a prime target for failure in my own marriage. But my Obsession is ebbing. And I love my Husband Creature. We have our issues. This crush on Obsession has played a slight factor in some of the good as well as bad going on in my marriage now. I appreciate my husband more because of it.
Anyways, Colorado isn't speaking to me. Hasn't responded to my messages since his own vacation, at least not more than one or two messages. He dropped off last Monday. I'm sure he's just taking his time to process what's going on. I mean his whole world is being turned upside down. I think I'm only slightly confused because he seemed so nonchalant about the whole concept when he told me they had made the decision to divorce. Maybe it hit him. But at this point. I've made my efforts to reach out. So I'm giving him his space.
The Drummer - I just happened to review an old post about The Drummer and I still can't believe how that whole thing went from nothing to something. But it helps me realize that my intuition on how a guy feels about me is pretty right on.
So if it's still right on, I shouldn't worry if I annoy Obsession. I can tell he enjoys our conversations. He doesn't seem to avoid interactions with me. We have A LOT in common. In regards to how we feel about politics at least and some of our moral views. I get surprised when he comments on things and I find out we're on the same page. Most people are so liberal its sick. But... sometimes I wonder, is he concerned? Thinking I'm reading too much into his conversations with me... lol I overthink everything...
Anywho... I'm tired. I'm having a hard time focusing. My mind is wandering all over the place. I've been somewhat productive today. But then another part of me is just staring at the computer screen not sure what to do next. Guess I should attempt to finish up what I'm working on.
Tuesday, July 31, 2018
Tuesday, July 10, 2018
Quick Obsession
So not that much cute has happened recently with Obsession but today I walked in to see how they were holding up with lack of AC in the office. And immediately he noticed I was dressed up. To the point that he looked around his monitors to see the whole outfit. I, on the other hand, didn't think I was that dressed up. But his coworker started giving me crap for what I was wearing when we have no AC and he defended me. It was pretty cute. :)
Though on the opposite side. I asked him about how the fire impacted him last week and he said he thought we'd talked about it. He stuck it out and made it home ok. Though I can't decide if him thinking we talked is a good thing or a bad thing. I'm leaning towards bad. *sigh*
But still cute that he thought I was dressed up. :) I'll focus on that lol
Though on the opposite side. I asked him about how the fire impacted him last week and he said he thought we'd talked about it. He stuck it out and made it home ok. Though I can't decide if him thinking we talked is a good thing or a bad thing. I'm leaning towards bad. *sigh*
But still cute that he thought I was dressed up. :) I'll focus on that lol
Monday, July 09, 2018
Changing Obsession
It's crazy to me the Obsession still continues. Not as insane as it once was thankfully. But he still pops into my head at the most random moments. Apparently he has driven by my apartment every time he takes his daughter to soccer practice. Though we just realized this last week and I think the soccer season seems to be over.
He asked what I was doing for the 4th of July. Which is part of how he learned where I live. Looks like he'll be going to the event by my place next year after what I had to say about it and what his brother had to say. Apparently, his brother has gone 3 years in a row and really enjoys it.
I ended up giving Obsession the journal I had bought for him a while back. I had to make sure Husband Creature was ok with me giving another guy a gift. He thought it was strange but said he didn't have a problem with it. My Obsession really appreciated it. Thought it was super sweet. He even gave me a hug. I told him how I had it for a while and wasn't sure about giving it to him, that I felt silly. He said he was sad I felt odd about it. And aside from my cookies, this is the favorite thing he's gotten from me. (hehe The only two things he's gotten from me.)
We had a going away party for another upper management person. He asked if I was going to walk down with his group. I did but he was so far up front I went with another person. While in the room, again I'm always so aware of his presence, he didn't even seem to see me. I said my goodbyes to the person and grabbed a cupcake and walked back down to my office. I was scanning some documents and saw him walking down towards his office. I smiled and kept doing what I was doing. He came to my area, a rarity, and said he thought I was going down with them and asked why I wasn't there. I told him I had gone down but only stayed to say good luck and good bye and had to get back to work. The fact that he didn't see me when I was there was a tad disappointing but I was happy he noticed my absence enough to come ask for me. Yep. Pathetic.
We had a fire in the path of our drive home last Friday and I was working in the local office and couldn't help but hope he would show up there. But no such luck.
I kind of wish there was someone else to obsess over. Colorado and I have been continually chatting. He has his moments of pushing for more sexual focus of conversation but I tend to avoid that direction with him. And there are a few coworkers I find myself toying with flirtation but nothing any where near as obsessive as Obsession.
I will say the more we have talked the more I hear Obsession referencing things we've talked about. So at least I know he now listens to what I have to say and remembers it. Though I still think about him WAY more than I should and get the feeling he doesn't even notice when I'm not around. He still seems to share more about his schedule than seems normal. He's very specific which days he'll be off, I tend to stare at his wall calendar when I'm in his office to get a peak of what his schedule is like. I see his car almost every day. It sucks that it's such a common make and color because goodness every single time my heart beats a bit faster until I realize a feature that is off somehow and realize it's not his. Yep, obsession. Yep. Pathetic. But... completely and utterly real.
He asked what I was doing for the 4th of July. Which is part of how he learned where I live. Looks like he'll be going to the event by my place next year after what I had to say about it and what his brother had to say. Apparently, his brother has gone 3 years in a row and really enjoys it.
I ended up giving Obsession the journal I had bought for him a while back. I had to make sure Husband Creature was ok with me giving another guy a gift. He thought it was strange but said he didn't have a problem with it. My Obsession really appreciated it. Thought it was super sweet. He even gave me a hug. I told him how I had it for a while and wasn't sure about giving it to him, that I felt silly. He said he was sad I felt odd about it. And aside from my cookies, this is the favorite thing he's gotten from me. (hehe The only two things he's gotten from me.)
We had a going away party for another upper management person. He asked if I was going to walk down with his group. I did but he was so far up front I went with another person. While in the room, again I'm always so aware of his presence, he didn't even seem to see me. I said my goodbyes to the person and grabbed a cupcake and walked back down to my office. I was scanning some documents and saw him walking down towards his office. I smiled and kept doing what I was doing. He came to my area, a rarity, and said he thought I was going down with them and asked why I wasn't there. I told him I had gone down but only stayed to say good luck and good bye and had to get back to work. The fact that he didn't see me when I was there was a tad disappointing but I was happy he noticed my absence enough to come ask for me. Yep. Pathetic.
We had a fire in the path of our drive home last Friday and I was working in the local office and couldn't help but hope he would show up there. But no such luck.
I kind of wish there was someone else to obsess over. Colorado and I have been continually chatting. He has his moments of pushing for more sexual focus of conversation but I tend to avoid that direction with him. And there are a few coworkers I find myself toying with flirtation but nothing any where near as obsessive as Obsession.
I will say the more we have talked the more I hear Obsession referencing things we've talked about. So at least I know he now listens to what I have to say and remembers it. Though I still think about him WAY more than I should and get the feeling he doesn't even notice when I'm not around. He still seems to share more about his schedule than seems normal. He's very specific which days he'll be off, I tend to stare at his wall calendar when I'm in his office to get a peak of what his schedule is like. I see his car almost every day. It sucks that it's such a common make and color because goodness every single time my heart beats a bit faster until I realize a feature that is off somehow and realize it's not his. Yep, obsession. Yep. Pathetic. But... completely and utterly real.
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