I still get surprised

Junior - Things with him have been pretty mellow. Though he sure is growing into his body. He has awesome broad shoulders, chiseled arms (from playing drums) and a thin waist. I am still surprised when he flirts with me mercilessly.

He saw me at bible study tonight. We made a lot of eye contact. Mostly inside jokes. He found out about my new crush on The Drummer and actually seemed jealous and gave me a hard time about my bad taste in men. But it was odd that it only took him one try to guess who it was that I was crushing on, so obviously he didn't think he was the farthest from gaining my affection. We were talking about how wrong for me The Drummer is, and how I tend to like things that are a bit taboo. That's when Junior reminded me that's why I like younger men with a grin ear-to-ear and his girlfriend sitting right next to him.

Either way, by the end of the evening I honestly struggled to stop checkin him out. I knew he had his gorgeous girlfriend sitting right next to him. So I thought to text him, to tell him that he was looking sexy, but decided against it. And sure enough I get a text from him saying goodnight, and how it was great to be able to hang out and talk and that he must admit he thought I looked "pretty darn cute like always!" I took that as my queue to admit I was thinking the same of him and had to keep myself from checkin him out and closed with sweet dreams cutie. Sure enough his reply was something to the extent of goodnight goodlookin and maybe we'll run into each other in our dreams with a wink.

And here I'm thinking, he has a gorgeous girlfriend, why in the world is he even flirting with me? I mean I know it's not like he's going to leave her for me or anything just because he flirted with me. But its just so odd that he would even think of me when he's sitting right next to someone so beautiful. It's sweet. It's dangerous. Maybe that's why I like it so much. Maybe that's the key to why I can't find a decent guy. The decent guys aren't presented in a taboo situation. Ah well, moving on.

Sunday after church I was giving his girlfriend a hug and we did that awkward which way do you lean thing and I joked that I was almost about to kiss her. Like a moment later Junior tells us, well you just should have. I was actually clueless, his girlfriend had to explain this to me. Tonight was no different. There was something said about me and her almost kissing and he said in his dreams. lol That kid is crazy!

The Drummer - He stopped by the house Tuesday night to pick up his equipment. He was attentive. Asking if I had plans for the evening, which I did. We joked around a bit. And as he walked out the door he asked what we were cooking Friday! I asked him if he still planned on making it and sure enough he does! He said to just let him know what we needed him to bring. Now suddenly I'm nervous about it. I know my crush is to such an extent it's obvious that I like him when he's around. I told my best friend she's gonna have to pinch me if I make it too obvious.

I found out from my brother The Drummer is coming over tomorrow night to record some vocals for his other band. So looks like I'll be seeing him again. (sigh) <-- That isn't a romantic sigh, it's a sigh wondering what the heck I'm thinking! I can't wait to see him again. And yet I've been asking everyone for prayer. I don't want to get all wrapped up in this guy. I'm lonely right now, he would not be good for me. So I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I figure I'll be slapped back into reality soon enough when I see or hear about some skanky chick he's sleeping with. Though I haven't heard much about his relationships, past or present. But in my mind, they probably aren't much of relationships, but more one-nighters. Isn't that a horrible way to view a crush? As a slutty guy? Odd. I'm going to bed.

Oh no... Another one to add to the list

What is it with me and drummers? My first kiss was a drummer... My first boyfriend was a drummer... If I ever start crushing on someone and find out they're in a band, what instrument do they (mostly) end up playing? Drums... Junior plays drums at church. I always joked that I liked drummers' rhythm. ;) Anyways, we have a new one to add to my list of men. I will call him The Drummer. Though with my track record, I'll have to start labeling them, Drummer 1, Drummer 2, Drummer 3... well you get the picture.

The Drummer - He's in my brother's band. It didn't take me long to start crushing. He's good looking, funny and personable. I never felt a major crush till this weekend though. He's my typical type physically: skinny, ripped and tall. There are other things that make him not my typical type. He's a bit "punk". He has a mohawk, not all the time but when he does shows. He's tatted up which goes along with most of the drummers I've liked.

Anyways, I've always been physically attracted to him. I don't remember the day I realized I liked him more then the other guys in the band. When I realized I didn't want him to see me looking crappy. The thing is, he's seen me at my worst. Pjs, no makeup, hair not even brushed.

Yesterday was Valentines Day. The band was at my place practicing. We were talking about the bassist not getting any flowers from his girlfriend for valentines day and how he would have liked something. I mentioned that I'm one of those girls that get flowers for the guys I'm dating. The Drummer said something about it being too bad I was my brother's sister. Now this isn't the first time he's mentioned it. But the look he gave me made me realize he meant it. And the bassist tried to explain it and The Drummer stopped him and said that he knew I understood exactly what he meant by that. (And the meaning is, my brother is quite protective. Him disliking my sisters boyfriend, who happens to be a friend he grew up with, means his friends know my brother isn't cool with his friends dating his sisters.)

Either way, on my way to pick up the pizza for the guys, I stopped to get the bassist a flower. I got back and honestly The Drummer seemed more impacted by the fact that I had done that for the bassist then the bassist himself. Lets just say, I think I got myself a couple more brownie points in his book.

The rest of the night was him and I flirting. He always looked for my reaction. Any time we got too close he'd joke that my brother wouldn't be too happy about it. There was one point we were on the couch watching the rest of the band play Guitar Hero World Tour and I had a hard time concentrating. He was always turning to look at me and being so close it was invading my personal space, which of course I didn't mind, but it made for some intense stares. Another time he decided he needed to show me his sixpack, which honestly was so fucking hot, I had to turn away. I laughed at the cliche' of me biting my lip to keep from saying something I'd regret. I took a deep breath and turned around and, lets be honest, couldn't help but want to fuck him. Any chance he had, he was over by me talking about his latest escapades. It seemed he was trying to make sure I realized he was a good guy. He just turned 40 the day before last so he was explaining the events surrounding his day.

I noticed the other guys in the band starting to tease us, making jokes about being careful around my brother, saying it was too bad my brother was so overly-protective otherwise I could go out with the guys. The Drummer was making fun of the Sweet Home Alabama song and putting lyrics in that were redneck, about loving a sister, one of the band members said, don't say that too loudly... You don't want her brother to hear you say you love his sister. Of course this was RIGHT in front of my brother. Who then said, oh no, not another guy like my sisters boyfriend (Sadly my sisters boyfriend is a bit of a loser). Another thing is The Drummer isn't working (like my sisters boyfriend) and the bassist joked that since I lost my job The Drummer would be asking if he could stop by.

The thing is, my brother lately has been putting The Drummer down. It's almost like he noticed something and wanted to make sure I wouldn't go out with him. The thing is, The Drummer is really REALLY not good for me. He's a drinker, partier, I can only imagine how many women he sleeps with. He's been to jail. My brother tells me why and I'm not sure I believe it. I need to find out the truth from him.

Last night I couldn't sleep. It's obvious to me I need to get laid because I couldn't stop fantasizing about him and what he could do to me. I kept thinking I must be making it up because how could someone so cut, good looking, like someone like me. But then I'd remember how his closest friend in the band is the one making comments about The Drummer and I, that even he was noticing something. Whether The Drummer would ever act on it, I highly doubt it, but just knowing he is interested makes me feel good.

Today the band was over again. Today, it was a little less flirty. Though my brother told the guys that my best friend and I have been cooking every Friday night to help teach me how to cook. The Drummer then brought it up to me and said he'll be joining us from now on and that he's pretty good in the kitchen. I joked with my best friend that I'm sure he is pretty good in more then just the kitchen. Anyways... we'll see if that happens.

I feel foolish.