I knew Obsession couldn't have known. But I was just so surprised he didn't know... But clearly he didn't.
I got a text from him late Thursday night (the 11th) saying "Hey 'Clandestine', I know you are occupied right now, but I just heard about your dad and wanted to see how he's doing. Just thinking of you guys." I replied with a novel and told him I needed to get to bed so I could get back to the hospital the next day and he said "Of course, rest up. We'll be thinking of you guys and praying dad gets better."
The very next day my dad was off the ventilator! I've been able to breathe. There is still stress.
Friday, July 19, 2019
Wednesday, July 10, 2019
Friends vs Coworkers
Are we Friends versus Coworkers?
I'm starting to lean towards just coworkers. I sent him a couple messages during the 4th of July holiday and nothing = Coworkers.
I'm pretty sure he's aware my dad is in the hospital since his entire unit (except for him) has text me asking about my dad or how I'm holding up or if I need anything except for him = Coworkers.
I keep thinking maybe he feels its inappropriate. Maybe it is. I'm not sure. Maybe he's not sure what to say. Makes me sad, disappointed and really shows who my true friends are. I'm sad because I really just want to talk to him. Share how I'm feeling. Can I really be the only person in this duo that considers the other a friend?
So these are the reasons I'm leaning towards Coworkers.
His daughter is getting her tonsils removed so it's possible he isn't aware of my dad being in ICU. In fact, it feels odd that he hasn't sent a message. So much so that I keep thinking he must NOT know! Yet, part of me wants to ask him if he knows. Another part wants to write him off altogether because this is the proof I need that I'm just not as much a friend as I thought. I'm just a coworker.
Yet his personality is one to show compassion, be concerned, ask questions = Friends.
*sigh* It's a sad revelation.
Maybe I'm just sad because my dad is in the ICU. My emotions and nerves are raw and I'm just being too sensitive. I've been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love for me and my family. And yet nothing from Obsession... Am I disillusioned? Have I really thought we were friends and he had just indulged me?
I'm starting to lean towards just coworkers. I sent him a couple messages during the 4th of July holiday and nothing = Coworkers.
I'm pretty sure he's aware my dad is in the hospital since his entire unit (except for him) has text me asking about my dad or how I'm holding up or if I need anything except for him = Coworkers.
I keep thinking maybe he feels its inappropriate. Maybe it is. I'm not sure. Maybe he's not sure what to say. Makes me sad, disappointed and really shows who my true friends are. I'm sad because I really just want to talk to him. Share how I'm feeling. Can I really be the only person in this duo that considers the other a friend?
So these are the reasons I'm leaning towards Coworkers.
His daughter is getting her tonsils removed so it's possible he isn't aware of my dad being in ICU. In fact, it feels odd that he hasn't sent a message. So much so that I keep thinking he must NOT know! Yet, part of me wants to ask him if he knows. Another part wants to write him off altogether because this is the proof I need that I'm just not as much a friend as I thought. I'm just a coworker.
Yet his personality is one to show compassion, be concerned, ask questions = Friends.
*sigh* It's a sad revelation.
Maybe I'm just sad because my dad is in the ICU. My emotions and nerves are raw and I'm just being too sensitive. I've been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love for me and my family. And yet nothing from Obsession... Am I disillusioned? Have I really thought we were friends and he had just indulged me?
Friday, July 05, 2019
Barmaid
So I saw Obsession again on Wednesday. We had a nice chat but a couple things stood out.
One: I walked into his office and he asked why I look well rested and my hair is all freshly brushed out and nice. lol I told him its because I finally got 7 hours of sleep. But it was nice to know he saw me and thought I looked good.
Two: We were somehow on the topic of our ancestry again and he said (and got seriously embarrassed) that when he imagined me and before he could get the rest out, he turned bright red and said "I'm not trying to say that I sit around imagining you..." and the other two coworkers in the room started teasing him and asked if they needed to leave us two alone for a bit. He took a longer time to recover than usual and finally he was like I'm trying to say this without making it sound so bad, but I always picture you as one of those girls in the bodice and holding the beers like at Oktoberfest. I downplayed my reaction, and moved the conversation along but deep down inside his embarrassment felt like admission.
I don't think I mentioned this but about a month back I was talking to Obsession about my church and he was curious as to where it was. Had me show him on google maps and everything. He wanted to know what a church that preached meat vs milk would be like. He seemed intrigued by the Facebook page. When I asked him something about watching the sermons etc, he said "oh I'm only interested because it's something about you."
*sigh*
One: I walked into his office and he asked why I look well rested and my hair is all freshly brushed out and nice. lol I told him its because I finally got 7 hours of sleep. But it was nice to know he saw me and thought I looked good.
Two: We were somehow on the topic of our ancestry again and he said (and got seriously embarrassed) that when he imagined me and before he could get the rest out, he turned bright red and said "I'm not trying to say that I sit around imagining you..." and the other two coworkers in the room started teasing him and asked if they needed to leave us two alone for a bit. He took a longer time to recover than usual and finally he was like I'm trying to say this without making it sound so bad, but I always picture you as one of those girls in the bodice and holding the beers like at Oktoberfest. I downplayed my reaction, and moved the conversation along but deep down inside his embarrassment felt like admission.
I don't think I mentioned this but about a month back I was talking to Obsession about my church and he was curious as to where it was. Had me show him on google maps and everything. He wanted to know what a church that preached meat vs milk would be like. He seemed intrigued by the Facebook page. When I asked him something about watching the sermons etc, he said "oh I'm only interested because it's something about you."
*sigh*
Tuesday, July 02, 2019
OT
Well I text Obsession again Sunday night and again no response. I started to think maybe he was trying to give me a hint to stop texting him. So I was about to give up but Monday morning I got a reply to both. Apparently he didn't remember getting the one before and apologized for not responding sooner. Made me smile.
So I signed up for overtime at work on my flex Mondays. It means I go down to my old office every other Monday and do whatever project they need me to do. Obsession is off every Monday so I figured it would be less distracting to go then. Yesterday was my first day.
Well turns out Obsession was there! Because of the holiday he is working his off Monday and taking Friday off instead. So there he was. Looking adorable as I remember. Me wishing I could spend the whole day catching up with him. We did spend some time chatting. It was really nice to catch up. I really miss our talks. It's just so easy. Time flies and there's so much more I want to say but knew I couldn't spend a lot of time with him. He still trips out about how good my memory is about things we talk about. I have had to stop myself from sharing that the reason why is that I'm a tad obsessed with him. lol
But I just found out I have a meeting down at his office tomorrow. And again sometime the week after that. One of my coworkers from my previous unit is leaving the department, I'm hoping to go to her farewell luncheon on July 17th. We have an all work function on the 24 - 25 of this month that I've been volunteered for so I'll see him one of those dates. So I'll be seeing him more than usual this month. :) Definitely not complaining!
So I signed up for overtime at work on my flex Mondays. It means I go down to my old office every other Monday and do whatever project they need me to do. Obsession is off every Monday so I figured it would be less distracting to go then. Yesterday was my first day.
Well turns out Obsession was there! Because of the holiday he is working his off Monday and taking Friday off instead. So there he was. Looking adorable as I remember. Me wishing I could spend the whole day catching up with him. We did spend some time chatting. It was really nice to catch up. I really miss our talks. It's just so easy. Time flies and there's so much more I want to say but knew I couldn't spend a lot of time with him. He still trips out about how good my memory is about things we talk about. I have had to stop myself from sharing that the reason why is that I'm a tad obsessed with him. lol
But I just found out I have a meeting down at his office tomorrow. And again sometime the week after that. One of my coworkers from my previous unit is leaving the department, I'm hoping to go to her farewell luncheon on July 17th. We have an all work function on the 24 - 25 of this month that I've been volunteered for so I'll see him one of those dates. So I'll be seeing him more than usual this month. :) Definitely not complaining!
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