I had a rough night which makes me tired and kinda grumpy and probably a bit too sensitive. But... I dislike that I'm overly complimentary to Obsession and he doesn't return in kind. I was reviewing some of my chats with Colorado (yes, still VERY tempted to reach out but haven't... yet) and he was complimentary, more so than I remember. I mean not outright, but he made me feel valued and appreciated and it was clear he enjoyed our conversations. Obsession seems... reserved and pulled back when I compliment him. It seems he enjoys our conversations as well, he keeps them up. But I sent an overly complimentary email yesterday and crickets... Nothing, nada... Usually he responds quickly. And it leaves me feeling so stupid.
Stupid like Samson... I listened to this sermon yesterday... It talked about Samson and Delilah and how it says that Samson was in love with Delilah, it never states that Delilah was in love with Samson. So he loved her, she asked him straight out how to cuff him, to bind him, 3 different times and he didn't seem to care or think she would use this information against him because he was in love, not her but him. I feel like that's me most of the time. I am in lust (not in love), and I overly compliment because well I'm doting over the person. The other person just sits there accepting the compliments, I would imagine enjoying them, and that's that. I'm left with nothing in return because I'm not lusted in return. I'm wasting my efforts. Why oh why do I give so much of myself to people who could care less about me?
