Sometimes I think about how many women are attracted to Obsession and make comments about him. A couple ladies came into my office and were looking at photos I had up (a couple group photos have Obsession in them) and they made comments like:
"He's like the expensive meat you just look at through the glass but can't afford to buy." "Most of the girls at training were just staring longingly while he taught the class."
... And I think... I'm his friend! Sometimes I'm surprised that I get to know him as well as I do. Lately he's been very responsive to emails. Surprisingly so. He doesn't initiate them often but he does seem more prone to admitting that he misses me, or was wondering why he didn't see me when he expected to. I have to admit something in the way he said he missed me made my heart flutter...
"By the way, missed you today..."
Ugh! It still gets to me. And he probably meant it as friendly as possible lol And I'm *still* reading into it! Or when he comments like "I expected to see you on Tuesday, what happened?" In previous situations he never asked for an explanation lol
That started when I shared that the reason he showed up in my journals was because at-the-time he was everything I wanted Husband Creature to be. I did share that as much as I thought he (Obsession) was almost perfect, my Husband Creature was perfect... for me. And that it took me a bit to stop looking at what I couldn't have and started to appreciate what I did have.
Maybe he was concerned prior to that statement that my crush was borderline ... Obsession. lol Or maybe it was flattering enough but he realized I didn't expect anything from him in return. Or maybe he liked knowing. But he's known how I've felt before. I think me getting a little frustrated at him for asking if I missed him threw him into an avoidance mode. Or who knows... lol And Covid shut downs didn't help. It really sucked when his Work At Home day was the same day I came to his office. That was months of not getting to see him. But that ended in July. I've only seen him 2x since then. I get to see him tomorrow so that'll be fun.
It doesn't help that my conversations with Obsession have been fun as of late and my Husband Creature and I are just not on the same page. It's weird. He shuts down, I shut down, we communicate (minimally) about trying to be on the same page, we do fine for a few moments and then *poof* pissy again. Ugh... I'm frustrated at it. I'm trying to have grace for him but I just don't get his justification for being so moody. We'll get through it. We always do. I have to be careful with Obsession though. Putting him on a pedestal isn't healthy for my marriage.
