I know I said the men have all taken a step back... At least the ones that were possible relationship candidates. One person has stayed at the forefront of my affections and that's Computer Geek. Though he was never really a candidate it doesn't change the fact that I still have a considerable crush on him. He's such a sweetie and there really is just something about him that draws me to him, he just brings a smile to my face.
I think the most surprising thing for me was when I had a nightmare last week. It was horrible. I couldn't shake the creepiness I felt. I rebuked the enemy multiple times, prayed in my tongue, even called my mom at 4:30 in the morning to pray with me. It was one of the worst nightmares I can remember. But the dream wasn't all that bad, it was the creepiness that I couldn't seem to shake that got to me more then the dream itself. When I finally felt a little light hearted I tried to keep my mind occupied with other things, trying to avoid visuals of the worst parts of the dream from coming to the forefront of my mind. Computer Geek was the one thing that made me feel calm, memories of our chats or moments at work. Even work in general was the one thing I could focus on and eventually fall back to sleep.
Anyways, Computer Geeks friendship means a lot to me. There is a joy that he brings to my life that I hope never gets taken away. I know there is a high chance that it could. As with most relationships, people come and go, but there are those people that leave a lasting impression and he will be one of them for sure.
Geek Photographer - He's made me promise to say something nice about him in my secret blog today. So I will say things are going well again. I haven't shared with him any hints of its whereabouts (like I did with Computer Geek). I think he's concerned he's gotten on my shit list and to be honest there were plenty of times he was. I had an entire long winded post about how frustrated I was with him but it just didn't seem important enough to share with the world. I vented and that was all I needed. I needed a break from him and I took it. I would like to say it was my choice but it seemed that we both came to that conclusion at the same time. He is the one that calls me, and for an entire week I neither got a call or chatted with him. In fact, I thought the friendship was over and to be honest I wasn't too heart broken.
But that break seems to have done the friendship good. He's no longer the major ass he was before. I almost felt like he went out of his way to put me down. Now it's a normal friendship. He still gives me shit. And with my friendships that's required.
He's also come up with a photography outting. One that I'm pretty excited about! One, its a very cool concept! Two, it'll just be fun to get out and shoot pics with a purpose. He has big plans to get our photography group going but the last time I got my hopes up and nothing came of it. One thing I've realized is that he's a dreamer and an entrepreneur. Both things I admire but it can sometimes mean being let down by the next big thing.
So the above was written last night. I got interupted by a call from Geek Photographer because he couldn't sleep! We pretty much just surfed the web together. It was ... kind of interesting. I enjoyed it. But I hate when I start to like him more then I should. He's proven that when I start to care he becomes an asshole. I'm running late to work this morning too because my brother needed my car to pick up parts for his truck and I know I'm gonna get shit about being late when we were both up just as late as the other and he got to work on time. And this would be the kind of shit that I enjoy as much as I may moan and groan about it while he's dishing it.
Well I need to pack up my lunch and get ready so when my brother gets back I'm ready.
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