My heart is pounding! I have no idea how to explain. And I feel foolish. Yet, somewhere, I have to write this down to get it off my chest. Out there. Away from my brain and hopefully I can move on and here is the only place I know to do it.
He held my hand. It was to take a closer look at my fingers but still. He held my hand, then my wrist. It was an embarrassing moment. I felt awkward. I'm always nervous about how hairy my arms are, yet he held me, tighter and longer than he needed to. My nerves were on fire. They still are with the memory of his touch. How horrible is that!? I'm a horrible wife.
There is something about this man that my entire body reacts to. I can't help myself. Every interaction I walk away from, needing catch my breath. There is something. What? Is it just me? Is there chemistry? It feels one sided. It feels so foolish.
Yet every conversation leaves me wanting more. I'm so drawn to him. Yet all the women think he's hot. So why am I a standout? I long for interactions. I long to get to know him better. *sigh* What do I call this guy? Mr Chemistry?
I've never had this reaction to a man since I've been married. And because I'm married I feel like a fool. I feel ridiculous. He's married too. In the beginning it was looking from afar. I immediately found myself attracted to him. Hoping to see him. Then I got silly. Making excuses to walk by when I heard his voice. Now, we have random reasons to talk to each other and each time it feels like we keep talking about more. I overshare. He keeps asking questions. He found out I'm transferring, I found out he works out of my new office often.
Damn, this doesn't seem to be helping.
