Even my brother noticed and said something...

So I had a dinner party tonight. I invited a bunch of people over and hoped for the best. It was a raving success! I never expected every invitee to actually make it, and then it turned out more came then I originally asked. I was cooking with a help of one of my best friends. I had such a blast! :) We played Guitar Hero World Tour all night. We had a grand total of 12 people. I was glad I bought extra food because we just barely had enough to go around. We got compliments on the food and everyone seemed to be having a great time. The Drummer was invited at last weekends show, I kinda threw it out there and said there were no obligations on him to come. He said he'd be there. And sure enough he brought a friend with him. I was a little nervous about having such a wide variety of my friends together, church friends and worldly friends. But it seemed to work out just fine.

So, I didn't really take a lot of consideration on how the Drummer was treating me all night. He was sweet as usual and he looked fucking hot! He was actually dressed up. Nice button top. He had his hair done. I got a text from Junior saying he didn't like The Drummer for me. I told my best friend, and she joked that it was just because The Drummer and I were flirting and it took me away from Junior. I, of course laughed and she said, "no seriously! Don't let anyone tell you he's (the Drummer) not into." She went on to say that he stayed close to me, sat right next to me during dinner, said it was obvious we were flirting and that he's into me. I beamed at this information. I have kept myself reserved from thinking too deeply on how he's treating me ever since last month when I realized how easily I fell for him.

Now, of course, I have a grin ear-to-ear and I have to be careful not to make it too obvious. I walked my friend out, and the Drummer and his friend stayed behind, they were actually the last to leave. I enjoyed noticing how often he would be turned to me, no one else would be able to get his attention. He would consistently look for my reaction. I was definitely flattered and enjoyed reviewing these little signs.

When everyone had left my brother started talking about how he was also nervous about mixing The Drummer and his friend with the church friends and how he thought it went well. And then he said that he enjoyed the Drummer's company but just wished his past wasn't so messed up. Again my brother always likes to bring out his faults around me. He had said he's heard that the Drummer went to jail for beating up a girlfriend. I had finally gotten the true story from the Drummer at the last show (which I'll go into further detail below) that he went to jail for firearms but originally teased me about the fact that he went to jail because he beat up women. When he finally turned to me after he could tell I was starting to believe it, and asked if I could believe him capable of that. I said no. So in my mind, after realizing he was joking, I think that he pulled the same joke on my brother who then believed him. Well according to my brother, after sharing I heard otherwise, said that one of his other friends witnessed it. He then said he just doesn't want The Drummer to get so comfortable with us that he does something crazy on him or someone else. I asked what he meant by someone else and he said, "well in all honesty, you. Be careful. I don't want you two to get too close. Just watch your back."

Maybe I should have taken that more seriously but I laughed to myself. I laughed because this meant my brother noticed something between the Drummer and I and he was, for the first time, making a straight forward warning. He has always complained about The Drummer, which I took as his sly way to make me think poorly of The Drummer. But this was the first time he made a comment of me and the Drummer at all together.

Anyways, at the last show (last weekend) I was actually nervous to go to because of the way the Drummer ignored me at the show last month. But it was quite the opposite, in fact he was quite attentive and adorable. We talked a lot that night. We talked for a while about the bands, I think I impressed him with my knowledge of the drums and how they're played (mostly because an ex was a drummer). Like I shared above, he informed me of why he was sent to jail. He said that he's always happy around me, or my brother, but not always happy individual. Their band (my brothers and the Drummer) had a rough set, so I went to talk to him afterwards and he opened up. After the show a few of us went to IHOP and he was there but stayed in the car. I avoided making it obvious I was concerned. I went out to the car for something and just walked up to his car door and asked if he was alright, he said he was and I didn't make a big deal, just said, ok, and then walked away. As we were leaving I decided to invite him to the dinner tonight. I was surprised at how quickly he agreed to go. Though with his track record I really didn't expect him to actually come. When I text him a reminder earlier this afternoon he responded immediately that he and his friend would be there.

So now we're caught up. I know I need to be careful with this guy. I REALLY like him. He's REALLY wrong for me. But good lord is he fuckably hot! Well I had this written last night at 2:30 in the morning but my wireless stopped working and I was too tired to reboot the thing... So I'm posting it now.

So many changes, so many possibilities!

No longer working with Computer Geek means I don't get to flirt daily with him. I miss him. He's still a doll. Shortly after I was laid off I stopped by the office and was thrilled to get to spend a couple hours talking! It's never happened that we could talk that long in one sitting. I finally met his girlfriend. I still chat with him. It's just not the same... I really miss him.

It's daylights savings time so it's actually midnight rather then 11pm. I should go to bed but I have too much on the brain to sleep. I spent the afternoon with Geek Photographer. It was fun. We went shopping for furniture to his new place. He taught me a move with tango.

I got back and saw The Drummer for the first time since I gave up my crush. Yes, the crush already died.

The story - The thing is, I actually had a serious thing for this guy in such a short amount of time. The weekend of the 21st it all came to a head. Friday he didn't end up making it to dinner because he had to have dinner with his grandparents and to be honest I felt that was an excuse which I found out the next day was not the case. Saturday he was adorably sweet. I went to a local dive bar to a show for a friends band and he was there. We didn't talk much but when it came time to leave I gave him a hug goodbye and he said he'd walk me out. My brother came over to say goodbye and questioned why he was following us. The Drummer told him he was walking me out. My brother seemed a little peeved but was like whatever. As The Drummer walked behind me he grabbed my waist, squeezed and held my waist until we reached outside where my brother was talking to his friend. Sunday he acted like I didn't exist. The band had a show and for some reason I became ultra insecure about the whole thing. He didn't treat me horrible but there was a definite difference in how he responded to me. I sometimes wonder if my brother didn't say something. And ever since then I basically decided it was time to let go of the crush...

So seeing The Drummer tonight, I wasn't sure how I'd feel, especially because in the last two weeks I realized how seriously I had fallen for him. Which is still quite surprising to me. Not the crush part, but the fact that it was such a BIG crush. I noticed I stopped eating and sleeping very well. I thought it was stress from being laid off but when I gave up the crush, sleep and my appetite came back. Crazy huh?

Tonight The Drummer was cute and adorable as ever. I know as with all my other crushes it will fluctuate based on how he treats me. But I'm not ever going to allow myself to get so wrapped up in him ever again. He never mentioned the fact that his missed every Friday night dinner since the original one, when he said he would never miss another one. But I do find it interesting that he seems to share things with me that try to convince me he's a good guy. My brother talked about watching a show of girls in bikinis traveling and sitting around talking about it. The Drummer was like, that sounds extremely dull to me. Or he always mentions when I get something that most other people don't get. But alas, he is never going to be. In the meantime though, I'll enjoy looking at him. haha

I got a call from Geek Photographer while writing the above. It's now 12:30 am according to daylight savings time. I'm getting tired. Anyways, Geek Photographer and I are going to put together a photography group that will meet about once-a-month to go take pictures. It should be cool if it actually happens. He's admitted and I've seen that he starts a lot of projects and never finishes them.

There is someone I've been texting a lot. I'm not sure what nickname to give him. He worked with me at the first ISP job I had. He and I worked together in the web development side. He was the programmer and I was the graphic artist. It was the most fun I had with web design because I got to make it look pretty and tell him what I wanted it to do and he would make it do it. I never found him very attractive and got married during this time. He's since divorced and has lost some weight. But I saw a recent picture and he looked good. He's been texting me about my recent job possibility (which I will go into soon). He invited me to the movies tonight. I didn't go because it was to go see the Watchmen and my brother really REALLY wanted to see that. So we're all going tomorrow. But I know there is something curious about him. Wondering. He's sweet. Though if memory serves me correctly he isn't the most normal person and there were lots of things that got on my nerves when we worked together. Hmmm? I'm not sure if I am going to give him a nickname because I'm not sure he'll ever be mentioned again.

So moving on to the title of this blog post. So many changes and so many possibilities! I was laid off February 13th and the company went out of business shortly after. I have been applying for jobs. Older Guy gave me an email address to an owner of a company that does similar processing that I did at my last job. I sent my resume Wednesday February 25th not thinking anything would come of it. The next day I got a call from a lady who was forwarded my resume by the owner and said I was definitely qualified for what they were looking for but she was concerned about the commute. They are located in Pasadena. An hour and a half commute without any traffic, with traffic could add an hour to that. I told her I was willing to make the commute. She said she would have to think about it and get back to me. I realized this was a job I'd really like.

So Friday as I was cleaning the house, an idea came to me. A client I used to work with at my last job switched services to this company I applied for. I knew this client loved me so I emailed him asking him to write me a letter of Recommendation to this new company which he did within moments and I forwarded that off to the owner.

It took a few days to hear anything back. I got a voicemail Wednesday March 4th by the lady asking if I was willing to come in and talk about a position they wanted to offer me. I called her back but she left for the day so I called back the next day at around the same time as the call and we set up an interview time. The issue she had was that if they offered me the position they would want me to move to Pasadena. I told her I was willing to relocate and had already addressed the possibility with my brother who was my current roomate.

I went down Friday March 6th and was scared to death. The idea of working for a company that would require relocation and living in one of my favorite cities in So Cal was a lot to think about, lets face it, hope about. I kept praying and trying to relax. It wasn't until I picked up "Battlefield of the Mind" and read the start of Chapter 15 that my heart started to calm down and realize that if this was God's will it would all happen no matter what. They would offer me enough to make the move and I would feel comfortable about making the move. The interview blew me away. The owner said he was very very impressed. He said its a rarity to talk to someone who had that much knowledge in their line of work. That it was like my entire work history was perfectly lined up with the new position they wanted me for. The timing was also something he couldn't believe. He said they had JUST gotten to the point they were ready to departmentalize what I do. They would not consider me a entry level position. Basically I knew they were happy with me. They said they would need me to take a simple test. But the offer was never laid out on the table. It was discussed that my concern about the cost of living was an issue and they said they knew the cost has even gone up in the last couple of years even. So at this point I haven't gotten the test sent to my email.

I'm blown away at how easy the interview went. It was very casual as far as I was concerned and I kept wondering what I said that made him aware of my knowledge. I'm guessing it's just the language of what we do, and I know it well enough to think it's standard knowledge. Even if they offer me less then I know I'll need to surive on, the fact the interview went so well is a boost to my ego. So now it's down to numbers. We'll see what they send over.

But... I can't help but fantasize about my life in Pasadena. I love that city! And the idea that this job would not be entry level, but it's focused in my field makes me feel that I've finally gotten my carreer off the ground! I'm no longer just meandering through jobs as they come to me. I have my niche and it's definitely specialized. I could really be blessed enough to work and live there! How awesome is that!? It's hard not to get my hopes up. I also know though, that if they offer less then what I have set in my mind, it's over... It's back to the drawing board. I won't uproot and move unless they make it worth my while.

Well now its officially 1am... I need to get to sleep. Hopefully I will hear back from them soon!