Saturday, March 19, 2005

It's Official

My ex has decided to ask a girl to be his girlfriend. The irony is, yes it hurts, my heart hurts like hell, but I'm relieved. Like I'm finally being told the truth. I knew apparently before he did that he was having strong feelings for this girl and I was sooo frustrated that he wasn't admitting to it! We had plenty of fights over it. And when he called today he said he expected me to hang up on him. But that's the odd part. I had no intention of hanging up on him. I was just thankful that he was telling me the truth! I realize now though the pain of letting go of a companion. Someone that I can share everything with. That can no longer be the case. I will have to distance myself from him all-together. I'm afraid to face him at work. This week its been easy to deal with my feelings towards him because he's out of sight out of mind. I knew when he got back from this trip he would tell me he had feelings for this girl. I was completely prepared for it. The reality is the painful part. I have no one to call for every little thing anymore. But I, unlike him, have been alone for lengths of time. I'm ok with being alone. He is not. So good for him. He found someone. I will wait it out. I will enjoy my time and continue on my path in life. Part of me is on the verge of tears, the other part is strong and ready to move ahead.

So here I go... moving ahead...

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