So I need to get this off my chest and my wireless connection isn’t working so well. “Oh… My… God…” Why does it irk me so much when someone complains about my use of that phrase? Why does it seem like such hypocrisy to be scolded for using the Lord’s name in vain when I use the phrase? Either way, I just got off the phone with a Of course this conversation comes after a possibly inappropriate chat with Geek Photographer, who ironically used the term “big camera” to refer to his… well business. Guess my nickname is more fitting then I thought. I will say that ever since our blunt conversation (see below) I think the friendship has naturally leaned towards more flirtation of the sexual nature.
So I found out a coworker has been spying on me. And yes, not in a good way. A coworker I actually have had a lot of troubles with… her work ethic and abilities suck. Apparently she’s been taking more time to see what’s on my screen then doing her own work. How did I find out about this? Oh, well my new supervisor asked me today if I was happy about moving so this coworker wouldn’t have the opportunity to check out all the personal stuff I was doing. I knew she was doing it, but I hadn’t realized how big of an issue it was! She would even make eye gestures to my supervisor to indicate I was yet again doing something unwork-related who in turn would tell her to mind her own work-related business! I’m just glad he knows I’m a good worker. Though when he told me she made eye gestures I seriously had daydreams about beating her head up against her cubicle wall. Brutal I know… But I’ve never mentioned this woman, and well this is not something I can truly vent about on my public blog because I’ve already had people at my work twist my words around even when I didn’t mean harm by them! I can only handle so much though. Since this new supervisor has signed on I have noticed he’s picked up on my coworkers issues right away. He sympathizes with me. He gets annoyed with her. Before he came along I desperately struggled to even be cordial with this coworker. Now, knowing I’m not alone in my annoyances, has honestly helped me take a step back and relax about my frustrations with her. Though today when I heard that… well it was hard NOT to get all frustrated all over again. Ok… so enough venting… I think I should just send this post out.
Below was written last night
Fresno - Out of the blue Fresno contacted me and said he plans on coming down to So Cal and wants to get together. I asked him when and he said he didn't know but he wanted it to be soon... Maybe the next couple of weeks. Of course I will probably meet up with him but I'm still so surprised especially with how things happened last time and I will NOT let it get to that point again.
Geek Photographer - Well we had an... um... interesting conversation last week. We got on the subject that I like guys with a bit of geek to them and I freely admitted that there was an attraction on my part towards him. His first response was "awkward" in a sarcastic tone. Then he asked why this was the first he'd ever heard of it and I replied well this isn't something that one just blurts out (kind of like I just did hehe), then he played the cocky game and said he knew it. I decided to inform him it wasn't all along! That it was after getting to know him, the ease of our friendship and well other things that I think brought about the attraction. And he said he could tell me when it started. Sure enough he got the timeline right. I told him that Computer Geeks teasing started well before my attraction. I made sure to let him know it wasn't like I expected anything to happen with him and he was like "well good". Little punk... So I decided to push the issue, I asked him point blank if he was attracted to me. He then pretended he had to go, hemmed and hawed and said that I already knew he didn't answer personal questions. So I asked him what the big deal was, why not admit it. This is where things got a bit awkward, for me at least... He said that its because *he's* the one in a relationship. I told him that ok I could understand that but whether or not he's attracted its not like it's going to change anything to which he replied no one expects it to but well that's how relationships always start. The light switch turned on, obviously he answered my question without answering it. But not only that, he answered in a way that I thought made the situation more serious then it needed to be. I backed off. Told him I understood where he was coming from and then went on to talk about other things.
Though he did tease me about Computer Geek. At some point in the conversation I was explaining how I think our common interest in photography made for a natural attraction. He asked if that was code, that I liked his camera better then Computer Geeks. Then said that he couldn't wait to tell Computer Geek that I thought his camera was bigger and liked his more then Computer Geeks!!! Yes, what have I done?
Computer Geek - Awesome and adorable as usual. He said some really sweet things last week when I was pretty down. He knows there's a new girl coming into my department and he asked if she hot and when I told him yes, that she was a great candidate to be his future ex-girlfriend he asked if I would be sad to no longer be the only one... How adorable is that?! I shared with him my insecurities and as much as he said he's not good with the silly girlie stuff he was really sweet about his response.
Its odd though... With as much as I lust after Computer Geek, one would think that I would have obsessed more about him telling me I was pretty and the comment he made about me and the new girl then about Geek Photographers response to my point blank question of whether or not he was attracted to me. I mean there is something about Computer Geek that is just sexy. As far as I'm concerned he's... well hot! Sadly, his pictures just don't do him justice. Anyways, last week I did have a hard time letting go of Geek Photographers response. I guess because it made me feel that he'd thought about a relationship forming far more then I ever had. And that if he would have just freely stated his attraction to me and followed it up with the fact that it didn't change the fact that he was already in a relationship then it would have been kind of laid back, more casual. Who knows... I'm an overanalyzer by nature. So I've probably read WAY too much into it as it is.
Washington - Called me out of the blue Friday on my work number just to start my weekend out right. He even sent me a text this morning. Called me Saturday at like 1am! Crazy guy.
Burbank - is just a miserable guy. He loves blasting women. Takes pride in it actually. Not sure what’s up with him lately. He’s been making more of an effort with the friendship, calling, asking about my life and what’s going on, stating that he wished I lived closer so we could spend more time together. All the while, I’m keeping him at arms length just because I’ve been blasted by him before, it’s a pattern, a horrible one at that… I don’t want that. I don’t need that right now.
Touchy Feely - Went out of state for a while. It was kind of nice. He never really called or talked to me. Now suddenly that he’s on his way back to Cali he’s calling and messaging more often. Ugh! I don’t want to have to keep avoiding his advances.
So is it wrong that I flirt with (even fantasize about) a boy who’s 11 years my junior? Don’t worry, he’s legal. Just barely! Our friendship was more like he was my adopted little brother but the older he’s gotten the more non-related the dynamic of our relationship is. We no longer refer to each other as “little brother” and “sis”. He calls me “Good Lookin” and I call him “Cutie”. He’s made comments that make me believe he’s struggling to be good. Usually it’s only because other people are around. Here I am thinking, how in the world can I allow myself to visualize ANYTHING happening with this kid?! Though he’s a really good lookin kid!
Anyways, guess this was a post about getting stuff off my chest. Things that I haven’t ever written down! Now it’s time for bed.
1 comment:
It was extremely interesting for me to read the blog. Thanks the author for it. I like such topics and anything connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more soon.
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