Fuuuuck!

The Drummer - Wow! Where to start! I seriously couldn't tell but one of my friends what I'm about to share. Mainly because my entire family dislikes The Drummer, and so does one of my best friends. Either way, things with him mellowed out quite a bit. But I swear there was a dramatic change this weekend! One that means I'm not sure how we will relate from now on!

So the band came over for two days of practice, Saturday and Sunday. I had plans both days but I hoped I would see The Drummer in passing. So Friday, he stops by really quick to pick something up. Doesn't seem to notice I'm in the kitchen cleaning. When I walk by and wave he notices me and says hello but that's it.

Ok so backtracking here...

The Drummer is in 2 bands. My brothers band and another. Well his other band performed for the very first time on June 2nd and he told the band that no one but me would be taking pics for them. :) awh... So I go, take pics, it's a fun night but I leave early. I wasn't sure if I was happy with the pics that night but when I got to playing with them I was happy with them. I sent him and the bassist a text letting them know the pics were uploaded and to let me know what they thought. So I hear nothing.

Back to Friday. So I thought to ask him what he thought of the pics but he's busy talking to my brother. Sure enough an hour later I get a text saying the pics are awesome! :)

Saturday I had plans to head down to Highland to go to Music Man's gig and The Drummer showed up right as I was heading out. I made sure to give him a hug and he seemed anxious to find out where I was heading for the night. I got home at little after midnight and shortly behind me was the rest of the band, too drunk to drive home. He was all touchy and flirty. He kept asking how my time was in Highland. I seriously told him 3 times and each time he couldn't remember asking. lol Yup! Definitely drunk! We played a couple rounds of Guitar Hero World Tour and talked but finally at about 2:30 I went to bed.

At 4:30 in the morning I woke up to The Drummer's silhouette at my door. I know I didn't see the door open so how long he had been standing there I don't know. I was half out of it but asked him what he needed. Now this is all sort of fuzzy since I was so sleepy but he seemed to hesitate and said stuff like "oh shit, sorry to bother you. I was just looking for (insert band member name here)". I was like "um... Isn't he out in the living room?" He wasn't making much sense or I was still too tired to fully grasp what he was saying so I kept asking him to repeat himself. He seemed to stumble over his words and said Oh shit and sorry a lot. I finally tried to wave him to come in so I could hear him better but he wouldn't. He finally just mumbled while he shut the door. I was completely confused so I got up and opened my door. I looked and saw my office door shut which was where the missing band member should have been. I thought it strange that he would come to my bedroom to find out. I mean if he saw my office shut and was looking for the other band member why not just open the office door to look in. I kind of got the impression I had caught him watching me sleep which in all honesty seemed quite disturbing and flattering at the same time. I know quite strange.

After that I couldn't sleep... I had plenty of fantasies starting that way so it didn't help my hormones when I woke up to the vision I've seen numerous times before in my fantasies. So I struggled to go back to sleep for about an hour. I finally got a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep.

So this morning I see that The Drummer is gone. I had the impression he wasn't planning on spending the night, just sobering up a bit so he could drive home. So after church I get home and take a quick nap but it wasn't restful since I had one of the band members fiddling around with the keyboard while I tried to sleep. I finally gave up on napping and got up to make myself lunch. The Drummer showed up shortly after that with his usual smile.

I was washing my dishes when he asked me yet again about my time in Highland! lol So we were joking about him not remembering and I asked him if he came into my room last night. He said no it wasn't him, must have been the other band member (who he was looking for the night before), because if he had he'd have done the deed. And I laughed and told him I was tempted to text him last night and tell him it wasn't cool to tease like that. He said there was no question. If he had the opportunity he would have been on me in a second.

He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist and whispers in my ear "any time, you name it. You wouldn't have to do any work. I would do it all. You wouldn't even have to worry about me." And I was like "did I hear you right?!" And he's all "yup! I'm not kidding either. I'm definitely tempted!" All of this was done in the kitchen where the guys were playing around on their instruments and couldn't really hear or see what was going on. I was laughing and he got a phone call and had to take it out back. As he walked behind me he slap grabs my ass on the way out! My mouth dropped! This is so unlike him! I mean he's a flirt but this is crazy flirting! lol

So he comes back in, walks behind me again and lets his hand trace my waist as he walks back to play. He gets on the drums and looks over at me and smiles huge and says, "I'm dead serious! You know that right?" into the mic. I'm just laughing and shaking my head and he keeps going with similar monologue. My brother and the other guitarist were disputing a chord change and he pointed back to my room as if we should meet in there and forget these guys. I laugh and did the head nod like yeah meet you there. I was done with the dishes I walk back because it's usually too loud to enjoy anything.

So I'm in my room texting my one friend I could tell about this and who comes in!? The Drummer! He comes up behind me again and wraps his arm around me and says, "we should do this! I swear I'll take care of everything". And he wipes his lips like he's made a sloppy mess. And by this time I'm turned around facing him in an embrace and he grabs my ass. I'm in so much shock I don't know what to say. I was hesitant and he seemed to sense that. He told me that he was definitely attracted to me and was definitely tempted to give up the practice to eat me! lol He says he's serious and then pulls my face back to look at me and looks like he's almost going to kiss me but leans back... Pulls my v-neck shirt down a little and kisses my cleavage! At this point I've practically wet myself and he knows it. He says he has to go but that he doesn't want to cause me sexual temptation and I give a weak chuckle and say "too late" lol He just looks me straight on and says he's deadly serious, any time any place.

I'm left panting as he walks back to the band members. I don't hear what they say but his response was "Oh I nearly had all her clothes off but she paid me to go away". I'm still in shock but am heading out to Geek Photographers so I go out to the kitchen to pick up a drink and he comes out there, all touchy and grabbing my ass. I told him I was heading out and he was all bummed I was leaving. He was caressing my waist at this point and then says he's upset I'm going but that it's probably for the best with another ass grab on my way out. lol

Seriously I have no clue what got into the guy. I believe he was still pretty hung over or wasted so I'm sure that was a lot of it. But anyways, I hear after I left he and the lead singer got into a fight about him being too out of it to play and he quit the band. My brother says he'll be back. I'm not sure though.

What's sad is during our first initial conversation today about my Highland trip he said he felt bad about wasting the guys time because he wasn't feeling up to playing. So whatever they got mad at him about I think he was feeling a tad guilty about it.

Either way. I highly doubt I'd let anything happen though the temptation is strong! And even if he was drunk... He admitted he's been tempted to come onto me for a while so that's flattering. But I have no idea how he'll treat me the next time I see him. He tends to be hot and cold. Today was a bit more heat then I've EVER been used to with him.

The Actor - So I have reconnected with an old friend from my first church I went to when moving down to California. I didn't know him well but we've gotten to chatting quite a bit. He's been playful and flirty in his chats so I've flirted back. Saturday night our chat turned into sexual innuendos and I could tell he was easing his way into sex talk. This is when the band came back too drunk to drive home so I had to rush off and help set up beds. I'm a tad nervous about our future chats. One of his comments made me think that he's looking forward to meeting in person. He lives up in Oregon and comes down to California for a lot of acting jobs.

So my question is, why now? Why so much sexual interest? Especially when I'm weak to avoid it being that I'm sex deprived myself. (sigh) I should get going. I have a lot to do before crashing hard tonight!

Whistle while you work

(BIG SIGH) A moment to breath! Work has been crazy the last week and a half. My immediate supervisor is in jail, yes you read that correctly. Unfortunately I'm not sure why and he had a court date today but nothing has been updated. There are only 2 people at my office that are aware that I know and my Operations Manager is NOT one of them. I guess you could say the Operations Manager has placed me in temporary lead. I sometimes wonder if she's grooming me to take over my supervisors role. It sure seems like it. I have no clue if they plan on keeping my supervisor or not. It could honestly go either way. I find it odd that the whole thing is hush hush. I sometimes feel that the Operations Manager intends to keep him and doesn't want his name drug through the dirt. She normally has an unusually large mouth when it comes to personal issues so this is the only reason I can come up with behind her silence.

So I'm at home now. My best friends husband is helping my brother change the breaks on his truck and plans on doing my car next. I just ran through the flash cards I memorized last weekend and am glad to say there were only 3 just shy of 100 cards that I struggled with. And the ones I didn't get were the longer description ones where I can't get the verbiage down just right. Anyways, my test is in 2 weeks. I'm scared to death. I'm anxious. But I'm getting to that point of feeling like I've come this far, I know I can do this. Computer Geek says "Failure is not an option". :) Of course it isn't.

Anyways, shortly after my supervisor went on “leave” the Operations Manager pulled my department in a meeting the day before she left for two weeks of conferences and I was basically put in charge of the things she or my immediate supervisor used to do. I know its temporary but it was pretty cool to have that responsibility given to me. But it meant I had to do that on top of my other daily tasks. It took me a bit to get used to trying to organize my day to get everything done but in the end I'm happy with how it all worked out. I will be curious as to what the Operations Manager thinks of it all. I'm excited about my job and where this test can take me. Once I pass The Operations Manager said she had some changes to my job that she thinks I'll enjoy.

I've been marveling on the stark contrast of how I used to feel about my job and my Operations Manager and the enjoyment I get out of work these days. My Operations Manager can still a bit hard to handle but whatever issue she had with me seems to have faded into oblivion and she seems to think more highly of me and what I can offer the company. Anyone who tells me they hate their job because of a particular coworker I tell them to have faith... Things can change!

So it's ironic that since I've made the decision to back off of the men in my life, my female friends have become more involved in my every day stuff. I got a call from an old friend who moved up to Oregon. It was so awesome to talk to her. And she asked about the boys in my life and I really didn't have a lot to say. She was there when the Ex and I broke up and she hadn't heard he got married and that we still talk and that he even was stupid enough to send me his honeymoon pictures! Anyways, it was great catching up with her. And that same night I got a call from my Ex's cousin whom became my friend at college and I spilled my guts about this guy I was interested and sure enough found out because of a wedding announcement on my Ex's desk that I recognized that it was his cousin. Odd... Anyways, sadly she is separated from her husband. Amazing how quickly marriages crumble these days. And another girl that used to date Junior has been calling a lot more often these days. Just wanting to touch base and see how everyone is doing.

Geek Photographer is all but out of my life. We haven't chatted nearly as much. I keep my distance. The phone calls have stopped. I sometimes think it's best to keep him completely out of my life. I chatted with him yesterday for the first time in a few days and sure enough within moments we got into a little tiff. I couldn't believe it.

Burbank - Well he's no longer living in Burbank so I probably need to rename him to Montana... :) But I guess keeping his nickname would work too. Anyways, Burbank came up exactly a week ago to hang out one last time. We were good this time. No hanky panky. Hehe Though he debated on spending the night because it's such a long drive home. When I hugged him goodbye I will say I had some emotions because I really will miss him! Sure, when I'm out visiting my grandparents I'll make sure to see him. But it was hard enough for us to hang out when he lived in Burbank! Maybe that was the problem. We kind of took advantage the fact that we were close enough but just far enough away to make it a bit too inconvenient to hang out consistently. I will say we got together more in the last year since I knew he was thinking about moving.

He even made that effort to stop by and meet the parents! Which I still can't quite figure out. hehe My dad thought he was great. They had a lot in common with their love of flight simulator games. My mom liked him too. What's not to like really? He's a good guy. My dad said that he seemed like a hurting soul though. And that's a pretty good assessment since he's leaving California to try to get out of his funk.

So there's another new guy friend. I don't think I've ever mentioned him. I want to label him the Music Man. He's a friend of the Ex. He and I met on myspace. He went to a DM concert and got to meet the band and I pretty much told a perfect stranger that I hated him and that’s the beginning of our friendship! He invited me to a show in Pomona in June for a band I had never heard of before that time, OURS. (Side Note: If you read my post prior you know this is the band that I'm obsessing over now.) His friend ditched him last minute and he asked me to go for free and I figured why not? I'm always up for new music. I went, we met in person for the first time, he's way cool and laid back and the show was an absolute blast!

A few weeks later he mentioned that there was an acoustic show at the end of September with the lead singer of OURS (Jimmy Gnecco) and asked if I wanted him to get me a ticket. Which I said “of course” to.

Then maybe a week after our birthday (we share the exact birthday), he asked if I wanted to go to another concert for free at the Hollywood Bowl with Nick Cave, Spiritualized and Cat Powers. This show was just two weeks before the acoustic show we already planned on going to. Sure enough this show rocked! We had incredible seats! Seriously 2nd row center! I was feeling slightly guilty as I saw the many fans envious of our spot when I had never even heard of the bands playing. But it was great to experience the show from that spot. And I even have a couple new bands I like! Nick Cave is interesting, but I definitely liked Spiritualized. Turns out Computer Geek is a fan and made me a cd of the albums he has of theirs… And he added a few others that he thought I’d like, (how freakin sweet is that?!).

So then our show at the end of September happened. I was blown away by the intimacy of the show. It was in the tiny "On the Rox" in Hollywood and we were front row again. I think I fell in love with the Jimmy Gnecco right then. I have obsessed for the last few weeks. He's an amazing singer.

So this week I happened to notice another OURS show at The Roxy in Hollywood in the beginning of December and have asked Music Man to come with me. :) I feel like he's the only one that would appreciate it with me.

Music man is a really cool guy. I don't get the relationship vibe from him. He just seems like a genuine person that I enjoy hanging out with. He seems to like that I appreciate music. I may not play any instruments or understand how they do it, but I sure as hell enjoy the music. He says that most of his other friends don't understand his tastes and pretty much I've established I do. It'll be interesting to see how this friendship proceeds.

So Computer Geek is still my fav... The last couple of days at work I've been so insanely busy I haven't had a chance to keep pestering him all day so we haven't chatted much. He's such a sweetie. I somehow felt truly special he made me that cd. There are just so many things throughout the day that make me smile about him and just who he is. I still haven’t convinced him to open up more about some of the stuff he’s into but I’ll keep working on him. He shares little by little and honestly that’s cool with me. He probably knows I couldn’t handle it all at once! Well it’s late and I have an early morning.