Mourning

Mourning: There's something about mourning that causes other issues to seem so small... It shows what's really important. And what's really important is my Husband Creature and Stinker Creature. My Husband Creature's father passed away last Wednesday. My heart is sad. Sad for my Husband Creature and even more sad for my Stinker Creature who loved his Grandpa and no longer has him around. Sad for me. Sad we don't have our family drives down to Grandpa's place. Sad I don't have someone who gives me awkward hugs. I'll miss his laugh or how he greeted each of us whenever he'd see us. I'll miss his beautiful japanese'ish garden.

We did a private viewing yesterday. Just me and my boys. I wasn't sure what to expect. But it was serene, calming and peaceful. I'm not sure what I expected. But I guess I imagined a more cold environment. It was completely unexpected. Completely emotional. All three of us crying together. It was therapeutic. It was oddly beautiful. And I'm grateful for the moment to say goodbye and tell my Father-In-Law that I was sorry and would take care of them for him as tears streamed down my cheeks. Stinker Creature wanted to go outside so I took him and gave Husband Creature his own time with his dad. Walking out the door I felt like I was so sad to never see him again... Tears welled up all over again and I had to remove my mask to breathe. After another 5-10 minutes Husband Creature came out with red eyes and he decided he wanted to visit family members gravesites. 

After that amazingly real experience we had a rougher one later in the afternoon with Husband Creature's Aunt at my Father-In-Law's house. But I don't want to focus on that experience. I am uncertain what the future holds with Husband Creatures extended family. But for now... We mourn... *Sigh* 

Obsession: So it looks like Obsession has switched his one WAH (Work At Home) day to the one day I'm down at his office. At first I was really sad about it. But now I'm so wrapped up in what's happening with my family and I think it's for the best that he's not around as a distraction. I'm kind of angry at him. Feels like he did it on purpose. I called him out on it and he said it was the only day available. Best case is I see him in a month, worse case, on a rare occasion until the one WAH day is removed because Covid is miraculously cured. lol Which will probably not be the case for a while. So we'll see how long I go without seeing him. And how long I go without emailing him...