Flirting w/ Danger

Maybe I should nickname Obsession 'Danger' now... But I seriously am struggling not sharing the song "Fun" by Selena Gomez's to try to have him understand how I'm feeling... But I have no idea if there is a mutual attraction. I think there is. He's made a couple comments. He's also very hot and cold. I've noticed. Emails are limited communication. Phone calls are non-existent, like if I call him for anything he wants off that phone as quickly as possible. The only time I feel the interest from him is in person. That might be a guy thing, but it's rather annoying. 

Either way, he made a comment yesterday that made me pause. It wasn't exactly what he said but how he said it. I was commenting on how I overshare. And he said he has some crazy thoughts that he doesn't share but that I have no idea what's going on in his mind. We were making complete eye contact and I felt this electricity. And there were a couple of times I noticed a look on his face as he looked at me that I couldn't quite make out. 

Last week we hadn't seen each other in about a month. He seemed really happy to see me. He had me sit so we could catch up. We got on the topic of the coworker that passed. I shared how hard it was for me. He asked if it was because I felt I should have done more or could have stopped her from committing suicide. I said, not that, but that she and I connected, and I never told her how much she mattered to me. He smirked and said "It's ok 'Clandestine', you can tell me how much I matter to you." And I chuckled and said "You already know how much you matter to me". 

The problem I have Every.Damn.Time I talk to him is stopping myself from saying something stupid. And it's not subtle. I literally have to look down, shake it off and say 'moving on!' He has to know there stuff in there. But he's never pushed for me to say more. Thank God! My counselor told me that people tend to overshare with people they find attractive. I keep wanting to share that I'm destined to keep oversharing! 

It's like I *want* to play with fire. I seriously have to stop myself every time from just unloading all my stupid attraction to him. I'm not sure why I feel compelled to tell him!? Maybe I want him to tell me the feeling is mutual. But again, why?!