Crying Headache

So I have a headache. A pressure filled pain in my skull that just won't go away. Last night I lost my temper. I was having an argument with my ex and it was ended abruptly. The way that I can't stand an argument to end, unfinished, still heated, interupted, left staring at my phone wanting to throw it across the room because he felt his 'company' was more important than taking a moment to go into the other room and make sure it ended with both of us being ok. Well I of course lost it. I was angry. I bawled my eyes out. I screamed. I hit the garage door with my fist (which incidentally I bruised one of my nuckles).

I'm really struggling with my anger the last couple weeks. My dad and I had a blowout and I actually lost my anger for the first time to the point of hitting something. It was the first and worst time. I hit my arms on my chair and caused bruises on my wrists. I felt so foolish.

So last night I hit the garage door and realized I was at that point again. I stopped, I cried, I bawled, I screamed, I cussed, I finally sat slumped onto the end of the bed and called my mom. I explained the situation. She was as sweet as could be. Understanding, supportive, encouraging, uplifting, sympathetic, everything I needed to calm down and not feel so out of control. I was hurt. I was really hurt by my ex. My mom helped me realize that yes, I was right, and yes he was right, and yes men are stupid, and yes it's always best to end an arguement on the positive side, and no he's not the man for me, and that I will find love again. She is an amazing woman.

So today I had my coffee, I had 4 ibuprofins, and yet still my head feels like someone is pushing in my temples. I hope it goes away. I am so not in the mood to be at work. I have found every excuse to get involved in conversations and well update my blogs, etc. Thank God it's friday, and better yet... thank God its PAYDAY friday!

Oh and of course my ex and I did end up finishing our argument later last night and of course I was no where NEAR out of control like I was and of course we're totally ok today and of course life goes on as usual. I blame it (my behavior) on my period emotions and well a rising anger problem that is starting to cause me concern. I may need to seek some help for it.

Well I should attempt to get some work done today...