I finally have DSL!!!!

So the dsl finally got hooked up this evening! YAY! I can't believe how annoying it was that I couldn't just jump online and post when I wanted to.

There has been so many things going on in my life right now that I'm just not sure how to express it all. I am getting settled into the new place. I still have stacks of boxes that I haven't even opened! It's going to take a while to get everything arranged, especially with my schedule (and my addiction to taking time to write in my blogs).

So this evening I got confirmation that my input is valuable to my current ministry that I have been thinking about stepping down from... Youth Ministry. I am still not sure what I am actually going to do. One of the teens came up to me and thanked me for what I encouraged him to do. I had basically encouraged him to make God the center of his relationship to this girl, to discuss God together. He said he never felt closer to God, or his girlfriend. That they had spent two hours the night before just talking about God and discussing some of the questions we gave them. Just seeing the smile on his face helped brighten my night! It was a nice change. And it was very encouraging and brought a big smile to my face. I couldn't help but be happy and giddy! I even realized that it had been the first time I had felt truly happy this week... Doing my ministry... It's very rewarding when you can see that you are being a help. We've drastically changed the way we have gone about youthgroup and lost most of the teens. But now it's a core group that *want* to learn about God! That is the important thing... So now I'm not sure what I want to do. I don't know if that was encouragement from God to stick it out. I know there are times you want to walk away from your ministry, so I have to now rethink and make sure it is what God wants me to do. But as I left I was smiling ear-to-ear!!!

As I drove home I was explaining this to someone from work who in a heartbeat changed my whole mood by telling me somthing about work... I wonder sometimes if working at the place I do is worth all the drama. I wonder sometimes if God has me there for a reason, or if I'm just putting myself through unnecessary turmoil. My boss doesn't seem to see the concept of appreciating hard work (whether it was part of the job or not) and rewarding for doing a job well done. His concept is the reward is getting paid what more do people need!? This unfortunately makes my part-time position as morale officer VERY difficult. I do not have a defined position in that area, it just happened that I came to the CEO and told him that I thought some recognition programs needed to be put in place. Then it was now my job to come up with the programs. In one of my many meetings with the CEO I heard him say "why reward an employee that worked overtime when he got paid more for his time". I was discouraged after that meeting. Then I here we are having a pizza party to celebrate ONE persons hard work in finishing a website! This person is his pet. The one that works the closest with him. So why am I upset? This employee did a good job and goes along with my concept of rewarding hard working employees. He should be rewarded. But the pizza party is going to be a celebration of HIS hard work. Not the hard work that every other employee did this week in staying overtime to get the job done right! His view is skewed and I can only do so much to try and help him see it. I mean he is the CEO and it isn't my position to talk to him like that. I mean I have been fairly honest and very respectful but I try to fight for the others hard work that he doesn't see on a day-to-day basis. It's sometimes disheartening to see one person get a pizza party done in his honor when I know a whole department that kicks their butt for the company and puts in so much work and gets the majority of the work placed on their shoulders and they don't get ANY recognition. They are looked at as slackers somehow! Just because there is more of them doesn't mean that they have more of the work spread between them. It just means that they get handed the biggest portion of the work. Either way its this one department that I fight for the most. And no, I don't work in that department. I used to and I think that's why I know all the frustrations and work that is involved and they do even more then I did when I worked in that department! Anyways, I guess for those of you that are Christians who read this... please pray for realization in the eyes of upper management to the work that gets done in that department.

Wow I guess I went through withdrawls... But I have a lot on my heart and this is a definite release! I have more but I think this is long enough as it is...