Endearment

I saw Obsession Tuesday. It was a basic conversation. Nothing exciting. But oddly I leave wanting more... Wishing I had more time. Wanting to email him and realizing it's just silly. I enjoy talking with him. I miss him. I just wish it wasn't inappropriate to go sit at Starbucks for hours on end. 

I mentioned an embarrassing moment when he gave me a hard time about a comment I made being a little bit ditsy (without saying that straight out). He couldn't remember the comment. I couldn't remember the details but told him I remembered being embarrassed. He laughed and says well just know I only say things to tease you... as a term of endearment. He said it with focus and made sure I was paying attention and making eye contact. It felt electric, like he had a deeper meaning. The look left an impression let's put it that way. 

He has a weird work schedule because of Covid so after finding out he doesn't work every Tuesday and that we wouldn't see each other next week he said he was going to try to change it so he wouldn't be so confused with each week being different.

***The above was written January 8th. ***

Obsession was at work the following Tuesday. I guess he worked out his schedule to be there. Interestingly he made a point to get up and hug me, whereas last week was an oddity, instead of getting up to hug me he said he'd keep his distance because things with Covid being so out of control. I was actually not expecting him to hug me that day.

And I may be in trouble... Looks like Obsession is thinking about indicating interest in a new development at my location. ACK! I seriously don't know if I could handle it... I'd be annoyed if he didn't make an effort to come say hi, and then I would hate to constantly worry about what I look like. lol Or be super aware of who is where when I walk around the building. Blah... He's on a current assignment and he's going to ask if he can maintain it. He feels like this might be the only opportunity to get back up to a local position. I'm nervous. There aren't a lot of workers that are local to the area so he's almost guaranteed a position. If he does move forward with indicating interest, he will be at my office no later than July 1st! Lordy lordy! I had a dream about him that night. Clearly he was on my brain. 

Sometimes I read through my posts and they feels so mundane and overanalyzed and others my heart flutters like it did in the moment but I'm telling you there is electricity. 

He seemed truly surprised when I told him I didn't expect to live in our state forever. That I planned to move. But who knows how soon that will happen. Could be 10 years. Could be 2. We will have to wait and see. I need to head out...