Running into Obsession

Of course I've daydreamed of the time I'd run into my Obsession around town since we live in the same area. My daydreams have always been pleasant, talking for a while, etc. And what would happen the one time I actually run into him? I look like shit, I had just got done walking, in unflattering clothing, hair pulled up and bam! I literally almost run into him. No hiding, no running, blah! He was sweet about it at least. He seemed uncomfortable with how he looked too. Like he could look bad? But he felt the need to explain his clothing, he had just taken off his work shirt and was just in a t-shirt. I at least got to explain that I looked the way I did because I had just got done walking. He gave me kudos, saying "good for you" and asked where I walked. I literally dropped the conversation awkwardly. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Then I regretted that, because then I walked right in front of him, he got to see all of me without hiding behind a grocery cart. *sigh*

So last night I tell my Husband Creature I feel bad. That I haven't done my part in our marriage and lost weight. That I knew my weight was an issue for him. That my potentially moving back down to the office I just came from made me depressed. That I needed to do something about my weight but I wasn't sure what. That I needed to get more sleep and try not to have too much on my plate. He was gentle about it, kind. He said he doesn't have an issue with the way I look but wants me to be healthy. I told him that's why I forced myself to walk last night. That I just needed to get out there and do something.

Then this morning I went to my doctors appointment. She told me what I already knew. I have high cholesterol and I'm pre-diabetic. She also told me we needed to work on my weight. I told her of my efforts. She said I need to avoid red meats, cheese and eggs... As I thought about it, that *IS* my diet. I live on eggs, cheese and meats, maybe not all red but still. So I've been toying around the idea of cutting those out of my diet for 3 months to see if it really works. As I was thinking that through, I realized I don't know what I'd eat for breakfast, so now I'm looking into a Premier Protein shake as a meal replacement. If I add an avocado to my shake, it will add the healthy fats and veggies to make it a well rounded meal. So... I was talking to my coworker about the shakes, she's been drinking them for a while now, and she got on me for my coffee intake. I immediately got defensive but in the end decided it couldn't hurt to cut back to grande for these three months and see where I end up. lol

This does mean extra cost to our food budget but if I stick with a protein shake for two meals it might end up helping. Not quite sure. Or maybe I could have egg whites with the little add on fillers to mix it up a bit so I can avoid cheese. lol I have a gift card to Target, maybe I'll pick up a mini bullet and blend the avocado into the shake for breakfast at work. Or maybe I'll use my little egg cooker and use egg whites and the mix-ins. I haven't talked to my Husband Creature about this but I feel like he'll be on board.

Is it sad that I am looking forward to not seeing Obsession for a month or so and see if I lose any weight? And if for some reason I end up going back down to the other office, it'll be a bit of time before that happens. I need a jump start. I think this is the motivation I needed. I've been miserable for a while now. I want to see if this will work for me.