I still get surprised

Junior - Things with him have been pretty mellow. Though he sure is growing into his body. He has awesome broad shoulders, chiseled arms (from playing drums) and a thin waist. I am still surprised when he flirts with me mercilessly.

He saw me at bible study tonight. We made a lot of eye contact. Mostly inside jokes. He found out about my new crush on The Drummer and actually seemed jealous and gave me a hard time about my bad taste in men. But it was odd that it only took him one try to guess who it was that I was crushing on, so obviously he didn't think he was the farthest from gaining my affection. We were talking about how wrong for me The Drummer is, and how I tend to like things that are a bit taboo. That's when Junior reminded me that's why I like younger men with a grin ear-to-ear and his girlfriend sitting right next to him.

Either way, by the end of the evening I honestly struggled to stop checkin him out. I knew he had his gorgeous girlfriend sitting right next to him. So I thought to text him, to tell him that he was looking sexy, but decided against it. And sure enough I get a text from him saying goodnight, and how it was great to be able to hang out and talk and that he must admit he thought I looked "pretty darn cute like always!" I took that as my queue to admit I was thinking the same of him and had to keep myself from checkin him out and closed with sweet dreams cutie. Sure enough his reply was something to the extent of goodnight goodlookin and maybe we'll run into each other in our dreams with a wink.

And here I'm thinking, he has a gorgeous girlfriend, why in the world is he even flirting with me? I mean I know it's not like he's going to leave her for me or anything just because he flirted with me. But its just so odd that he would even think of me when he's sitting right next to someone so beautiful. It's sweet. It's dangerous. Maybe that's why I like it so much. Maybe that's the key to why I can't find a decent guy. The decent guys aren't presented in a taboo situation. Ah well, moving on.

Sunday after church I was giving his girlfriend a hug and we did that awkward which way do you lean thing and I joked that I was almost about to kiss her. Like a moment later Junior tells us, well you just should have. I was actually clueless, his girlfriend had to explain this to me. Tonight was no different. There was something said about me and her almost kissing and he said in his dreams. lol That kid is crazy!

The Drummer - He stopped by the house Tuesday night to pick up his equipment. He was attentive. Asking if I had plans for the evening, which I did. We joked around a bit. And as he walked out the door he asked what we were cooking Friday! I asked him if he still planned on making it and sure enough he does! He said to just let him know what we needed him to bring. Now suddenly I'm nervous about it. I know my crush is to such an extent it's obvious that I like him when he's around. I told my best friend she's gonna have to pinch me if I make it too obvious.

I found out from my brother The Drummer is coming over tomorrow night to record some vocals for his other band. So looks like I'll be seeing him again. (sigh) <-- That isn't a romantic sigh, it's a sigh wondering what the heck I'm thinking! I can't wait to see him again. And yet I've been asking everyone for prayer. I don't want to get all wrapped up in this guy. I'm lonely right now, he would not be good for me. So I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I figure I'll be slapped back into reality soon enough when I see or hear about some skanky chick he's sleeping with. Though I haven't heard much about his relationships, past or present. But in my mind, they probably aren't much of relationships, but more one-nighters. Isn't that a horrible way to view a crush? As a slutty guy? Odd. I'm going to bed.