Pregnancy Scares ... Annoying

So I'm trying to calculate when my last period was because I don't remember, so now I'm playing the guessing game... Am I pregnant? I usually freak a week too soon and when I am about ready to make a trip to the drugstore I start my period. I've found that I'm usually a week later then the month before... But not knowing when that was last month makes this more difficult. It doesn't help that he asked a couple weeks ago, "aren't you supposed to be on your period?" So does he remember better then me. I had thought he was two weeks too soon... But now I'm not so sure. And since I usually freak a week too soon, freaking started 3 days ago, I'm going to wait until early next week to go buy myself a pregnancy test. Ugh!

And how the brain circles around the possibilities of actually being pregnant! And how ironic that Monday we sat down and decided to stop our sexscapades prior to his move. We both agreed (I, rather reluctantly), that it would be best to work out the emotional separation when we had each other to help the process be less painful. One day it might be as simple as a hug, or a smile that gets us through the concept of not being able to be physically intimate... Things we couldn't see or do if we waited until his moving to end our physical intimacy. I think it's wise.

But going back to the original concept of this post... What if!? What if I'm pregnant? Would I tell him before he moved? Could I keep it from him? Would I want to? Would he move? Would I be ok if he did? Would I move? I mean this is a horrible possibility. Not that I wouldn't mind having a baby... But out of wedlock?! My parents would be so ashamed! :( They would be dissapointed in me... I would be dissapointed in me... I would be ashamed! Yet with all the other pregnancy scares I went through the same emotions... Did it stop me from continuing to have sex? Absolutely not! :( Ah well... I guess I just have to wait my week and I'll probably start my period. Breath a sigh of relief. And go about my life.