So I've been meaning to write. I've been needing to write. A lot is going on right now. It's Friday and I'm in a goofy mood! I ended up coming back to work last night because the freeway was packed due to a camper fire and my normal 45 min drive would have been 3+ hours... So I decided to turn around and go back to work and do something productive for those 3 hours. I realized I could then come in late today.
Man, there is something about waking up after the sun that feels TOTALLY refreshing! It's still early enough to feel like you can have a productive day but it's amazing how refreshed I feel! So I got to work 2 hours later then normal and I'm in such a good mood! :D What a great way to start the weekend!!
Things have been interesting. Work has been good. But I have a lot of negativity around me from my coworkers. I haven't been helping them any. I become just as negative. I remember listening to my teacher wednesday night and he stated that we shouldn't live like others. People that don't have Christ should be able to see a difference in me, my life, my responses. Man I've heard that so many times but that night it struck a deep chord. People aren't able to see much difference in me and how I live my life or how I respond to things. Not that I've done too much to change but I'm more aware of it and that's the start of the battle...
The new programmer at work has become a new friend. He has helped keep me preoccupied so I'm not only focused on my ex at work. I now have someone else I can go to lunch with or chat with throughout the work day. I don't believe he has any interest in me romantically (nor I in him) but he shows an interest in me. He is very attentive to what I say and seems to include me. It has been a pleasant distraction. He is Buddhist so we can't relate on the spiritual level but I've been able to ask him questions about it. It has been interesting.
I spoke with an old boyfriend the other night. He is the one that hurt me the most. I feel bad for him. He has a serious heart disease that might take his life. The doctors don't know what else to do for him. They are trying to stop the deterioration but at this point the damage is done. I would have thought when he originally told me he was lying as usual if I hadn't heard from my brother-in-law that he saw his xrays at the hospital and it's a severe case. I can't remember what it's called though. Anyways, I talked to him and it was actually nice. I lost my resentment of him a long time ago. But we have not kept in contact either. Before I knew it I was inviting him to come to my church and say hi to everyone. Now I'm afraid he might actually take me up on the offer. He sounded as if he was hoping I'd ask but that he was worried how people would respond to him because of how badly he hurt me. He's afraid of my dad because during our breakup he said some pretty horrible things about me to my dad. To this day I have no idea what all he told my dad, my dad just told me it was a VERY good thing he was out of my life. Either way we will see. He may never come to church. But this sunday I might be checking the door every so often. hehe
Well I'm taking too much time. I will try to write more later.
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