A lot of change

This week has been full of change. I knew a new chapter in my life was coming but I did not realize the magnatude of the changes. I am now considering stepping down from my ministry to focus on my relationship with God. I spoke to my dad about it and he confirmed in my heart that this is a wise decision and not based wholey on emotions. I am not walking away from ministry as in helping someone when they ask for it, but ministry as in my full time ministry. I feel I need to go back to my roots. Get my relationship with God right. Focus on him and not being so busy. It's odd because people always say you can fill your life up with good things and it is true. My ministry is a good thing, but at this stage in my life I'm not so sure anymore. So who knows if I will ever get back into my ministry? I feel strongly that I will but after some time.

I also feel that my current job that I didn't like is now becoming fulfilling again. Which is odd. I thought I was supposed to quit and work for my relative full time. Right now, I work for my relative only part time and on my time. I don't get paid because I'm trying to help him out. Well I've realized that this is taking too much out of me. So I'm talking with him to pray about a decision that we should both make by Christmas. I am wanting to know whether or not he feels that this is the right thing for him too. I want it to be a God-based decision. Though I know in my heart the moment I told my relative and he took it well was a huge sign that this is a step in the right direction.

I have been feeling overwhelmed lately with life and being busy. I finally broke down during a conversation/arguement with my dad. The things he had to tell me were painful truths about my life and how I live it. And though some of what he said hurt, I knew it was the truth. I won't go into detail about what was said that hurt but I will explain the outcome.

Bottom line: I haven't been running my life, my life has been running me.

So from now on I'm taking my life back. I've decided to work towards going back to school, which has been a long time dream of mine. I've just been so busy with other things I've never done anything about it. So I've missed January registration, so I'm going to try for Fall. This will give me enough time to put together some financial stability for it. I have always wanted my BA but got too busy after I got my AA, which I always viewed as halfway there. Where is there? I don't exactly know, but I have always wanted to continue my education. I love college, and I love learning, so we will have to wait and see. I'm older so it'll be a little different. My friends, or some not even my friends that are my age have gotten their BA's and I admire them. It's not that I feel that you are something with a BA, but it is just always something I wanted for myself. So I look up to people who have accomplished a goal I have yet to accomplish.

There are many more things but I must get going.