Life ... As I know it...

Life as I know it... Is forever changed.  I'm trying to find my way back to living in the present and not in the past hurts. My counselor says I've been consumed and it's blinding me to the progress Husband Creature and I have made. 

I find it interesting that I chose a road to express how I am feeling right now. Currently I'm on a kick of listening to 90s music from my high school days, yesterday I wanted a Dr Pepper fountain drink and a Snickers... And honestly it brings me back when life was simpler... Easier. When my bestie and I would just grab a Big Gulp, Snickers and drive around with the windows down, blaring our music... *Sigh* Maybe I need to go for a drive this weekend... 

My counselor is having me read "Forgiving What You Can't Forget" by Lysa Terkeurst. It's challenging me. It hits so close to home. Sometimes I'm left crying because she is describing the exact emotion that's been so hard to articulate. I feel like I'm not alone. And in those moments, I didn't realize how alone I felt. My mom experienced infidelity from my dad. My best friend experienced it as well. But their experiences were so different than my own. And they can't recall the emotions that I'm currently struggling through. 

Well I need to go. I'm just throwing this out there. Need it off my chest.