I have become that person... That daydreams about gardens. I just moved into my first home last September. I can now plant things IN the ground. At our apartment I got obsessed with container gardening. Now... I can daydream about what to do around my home! I've been having a lot of fun coming up with my latest plan. I just need to wait for my Husband Creature to get a job.
Husband Creature - Things are going *really* well. I am nervous to relax about it because the LAST time I felt that we were doing really well, he went and left a Lego on her car and reached out to her via email and crushed me. So I'm a little nervous to get so confident that we're going to make it. My Husband Creature says we are... and I want to believe him but 4.5 months into our healing process (in March) he threw a wrench in things and made me question his motives and true desires. That was 4 months ago. I want to make it to 6 months of no contact to truly breath a sigh of relief.
He told me he saw her driving with her boyfriend one morning recently and he thought she looked trashy, kind of like he saw her when we first met. It gave me hope that his heart really has changed towards her. I still hate that she lives so close to us. But I don't drive by and honestly I don't even remember she does most of the time.
Husband Creature and I went on a road trip. On the way out of town he said he had an epiphany that morning. That I was better in every way than his Affair. I don't know why but I cried.
Obsession - Lately I've been seeing some hits on my old posts and it makes me curious enough to click on them and honestly sometimes I'm shocked at the things that were said between Obsession and I over the years. Compared to other men in my life, he and I got really close! And I've been *really* struggling not to get ahold of him. I almost called him the other day on his work cell. Then I decided to hold off until today. And then I found out from a person that still works there that he left the office. So I guess I'm just not meant to reach out. There is always something that holds me back. Probably for the best.
The above was written about a month ago... (June 2026)
I need someplace to type rather than picking up my phone and calling Obsession on his work cell with my work cell.
7/29/26
So I got to see Obsession today! It was not expected, and almost didn't work out. It was rushed. I wished we had more time to catch up. But he looked the same. He seemed happy to see me. And I asked if I could come back after I did what I came to do and he said "Absolutely!" Then I found out I wasn't even supposed to get in as far as I did. And I couldn't go back in to say goodbye. So I pulled the trigger. I called him on his work cell from my work cell. Apologizing for not getting to say goodbye and that if he wanted to call me back on my work cell we could finish catching up. It's now on him. Will he call me? I really would be surprised if he does. But it would be cool if he did. But now I don't have to wonder ya know?
7/31/26
I got in my head about it... I wondered if he used his work phone like I use mine. He probably uses his personal like other friends of mine at my old job. So ... I decided to call his extension... he picked up, first ring... I said it was me, he said can I call you back? I have someone in my office. I said sure. He asked where I was calling from, made sure to get the whole number not just my extension... And ... nothing... *sigh* That was hours ago. I know ... He's busy. But what's my favorite movie for situations like this. "He's Just Not That Into You" If he wanted to call he would.
So that's my answer. I'm officially done. I have tried in the ways I know how. If he wanted to, he would call. I need to let go.
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