Update Re: Fuuuuck! Post

So, I rushed off because I had a lot to do. The next day it was hard not to think about everything that happend with The Drummer. I happened to share some of it with a friend I hadn't expected to be open with and she felt the same as me about it. Odd that he was at my door in the middle of the night. She thought it was equally creepy and cute. She was shocked he related to me like that. As am I! So I just finish telling her everything and an hour later when our conversation had turned onto something else I get a text from The Drummer! The second initiated text from him in the last few days. Here's what he said.

I'm sorry 4 my behavior yesterday. I'm sorry if I disrespected you. :(

I didn't know how to reply! I mean I couldn't say no problem because in all honesty I wasn't sure if I liked how he treated me or not. I mean part of me loved it! Part of me felt taken back. So I formulated a response thanking him, telling him I appreciate that and asked him how he was going to make it up to me (with a wink). I figured its the best way to let him know I didn't think his behavior was entirely appropriate but I still liked him. He seemed happy with the response and said he'd think of something (with a smile).

Anyways I've been gone for two days and now I'm supposed to rush off to housesit... So off I go again.

Fuuuuck!

The Drummer - Wow! Where to start! I seriously couldn't tell but one of my friends what I'm about to share. Mainly because my entire family dislikes The Drummer, and so does one of my best friends. Either way, things with him mellowed out quite a bit. But I swear there was a dramatic change this weekend! One that means I'm not sure how we will relate from now on!

So the band came over for two days of practice, Saturday and Sunday. I had plans both days but I hoped I would see The Drummer in passing. So Friday, he stops by really quick to pick something up. Doesn't seem to notice I'm in the kitchen cleaning. When I walk by and wave he notices me and says hello but that's it.

Ok so backtracking here...

The Drummer is in 2 bands. My brothers band and another. Well his other band performed for the very first time on June 2nd and he told the band that no one but me would be taking pics for them. :) awh... So I go, take pics, it's a fun night but I leave early. I wasn't sure if I was happy with the pics that night but when I got to playing with them I was happy with them. I sent him and the bassist a text letting them know the pics were uploaded and to let me know what they thought. So I hear nothing.

Back to Friday. So I thought to ask him what he thought of the pics but he's busy talking to my brother. Sure enough an hour later I get a text saying the pics are awesome! :)

Saturday I had plans to head down to Highland to go to Music Man's gig and The Drummer showed up right as I was heading out. I made sure to give him a hug and he seemed anxious to find out where I was heading for the night. I got home at little after midnight and shortly behind me was the rest of the band, too drunk to drive home. He was all touchy and flirty. He kept asking how my time was in Highland. I seriously told him 3 times and each time he couldn't remember asking. lol Yup! Definitely drunk! We played a couple rounds of Guitar Hero World Tour and talked but finally at about 2:30 I went to bed.

At 4:30 in the morning I woke up to The Drummer's silhouette at my door. I know I didn't see the door open so how long he had been standing there I don't know. I was half out of it but asked him what he needed. Now this is all sort of fuzzy since I was so sleepy but he seemed to hesitate and said stuff like "oh shit, sorry to bother you. I was just looking for (insert band member name here)". I was like "um... Isn't he out in the living room?" He wasn't making much sense or I was still too tired to fully grasp what he was saying so I kept asking him to repeat himself. He seemed to stumble over his words and said Oh shit and sorry a lot. I finally tried to wave him to come in so I could hear him better but he wouldn't. He finally just mumbled while he shut the door. I was completely confused so I got up and opened my door. I looked and saw my office door shut which was where the missing band member should have been. I thought it strange that he would come to my bedroom to find out. I mean if he saw my office shut and was looking for the other band member why not just open the office door to look in. I kind of got the impression I had caught him watching me sleep which in all honesty seemed quite disturbing and flattering at the same time. I know quite strange.

After that I couldn't sleep... I had plenty of fantasies starting that way so it didn't help my hormones when I woke up to the vision I've seen numerous times before in my fantasies. So I struggled to go back to sleep for about an hour. I finally got a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep.

So this morning I see that The Drummer is gone. I had the impression he wasn't planning on spending the night, just sobering up a bit so he could drive home. So after church I get home and take a quick nap but it wasn't restful since I had one of the band members fiddling around with the keyboard while I tried to sleep. I finally gave up on napping and got up to make myself lunch. The Drummer showed up shortly after that with his usual smile.

I was washing my dishes when he asked me yet again about my time in Highland! lol So we were joking about him not remembering and I asked him if he came into my room last night. He said no it wasn't him, must have been the other band member (who he was looking for the night before), because if he had he'd have done the deed. And I laughed and told him I was tempted to text him last night and tell him it wasn't cool to tease like that. He said there was no question. If he had the opportunity he would have been on me in a second.

He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist and whispers in my ear "any time, you name it. You wouldn't have to do any work. I would do it all. You wouldn't even have to worry about me." And I was like "did I hear you right?!" And he's all "yup! I'm not kidding either. I'm definitely tempted!" All of this was done in the kitchen where the guys were playing around on their instruments and couldn't really hear or see what was going on. I was laughing and he got a phone call and had to take it out back. As he walked behind me he slap grabs my ass on the way out! My mouth dropped! This is so unlike him! I mean he's a flirt but this is crazy flirting! lol

So he comes back in, walks behind me again and lets his hand trace my waist as he walks back to play. He gets on the drums and looks over at me and smiles huge and says, "I'm dead serious! You know that right?" into the mic. I'm just laughing and shaking my head and he keeps going with similar monologue. My brother and the other guitarist were disputing a chord change and he pointed back to my room as if we should meet in there and forget these guys. I laugh and did the head nod like yeah meet you there. I was done with the dishes I walk back because it's usually too loud to enjoy anything.

So I'm in my room texting my one friend I could tell about this and who comes in!? The Drummer! He comes up behind me again and wraps his arm around me and says, "we should do this! I swear I'll take care of everything". And he wipes his lips like he's made a sloppy mess. And by this time I'm turned around facing him in an embrace and he grabs my ass. I'm in so much shock I don't know what to say. I was hesitant and he seemed to sense that. He told me that he was definitely attracted to me and was definitely tempted to give up the practice to eat me! lol He says he's serious and then pulls my face back to look at me and looks like he's almost going to kiss me but leans back... Pulls my v-neck shirt down a little and kisses my cleavage! At this point I've practically wet myself and he knows it. He says he has to go but that he doesn't want to cause me sexual temptation and I give a weak chuckle and say "too late" lol He just looks me straight on and says he's deadly serious, any time any place.

I'm left panting as he walks back to the band members. I don't hear what they say but his response was "Oh I nearly had all her clothes off but she paid me to go away". I'm still in shock but am heading out to Geek Photographers so I go out to the kitchen to pick up a drink and he comes out there, all touchy and grabbing my ass. I told him I was heading out and he was all bummed I was leaving. He was caressing my waist at this point and then says he's upset I'm going but that it's probably for the best with another ass grab on my way out. lol

Seriously I have no clue what got into the guy. I believe he was still pretty hung over or wasted so I'm sure that was a lot of it. But anyways, I hear after I left he and the lead singer got into a fight about him being too out of it to play and he quit the band. My brother says he'll be back. I'm not sure though.

What's sad is during our first initial conversation today about my Highland trip he said he felt bad about wasting the guys time because he wasn't feeling up to playing. So whatever they got mad at him about I think he was feeling a tad guilty about it.

Either way. I highly doubt I'd let anything happen though the temptation is strong! And even if he was drunk... He admitted he's been tempted to come onto me for a while so that's flattering. But I have no idea how he'll treat me the next time I see him. He tends to be hot and cold. Today was a bit more heat then I've EVER been used to with him.

The Actor - So I have reconnected with an old friend from my first church I went to when moving down to California. I didn't know him well but we've gotten to chatting quite a bit. He's been playful and flirty in his chats so I've flirted back. Saturday night our chat turned into sexual innuendos and I could tell he was easing his way into sex talk. This is when the band came back too drunk to drive home so I had to rush off and help set up beds. I'm a tad nervous about our future chats. One of his comments made me think that he's looking forward to meeting in person. He lives up in Oregon and comes down to California for a lot of acting jobs.

So my question is, why now? Why so much sexual interest? Especially when I'm weak to avoid it being that I'm sex deprived myself. (sigh) I should get going. I have a lot to do before crashing hard tonight!

Texting (old post never uploaded till 6/14)

Texting The Drummer
Me: So damn! I seem to forget how freakin hot you are! It was nice seeing you this weekend cutie. ;) I hope you're smilin. :) Have a great week!
Drummer: U know i'm smiling. I never forget how cute u r. ;)
Me: awh thanks but now I have to explain my forgetfulness! I never forget you're hot just *how hot* you are! :) haha
Drummer: Blushing!!!!

Texting Computer Geek
I don't have my side of the conversation verbatim but I'll paraphrase what I remember.
Me: So I have to admit it was really great to see you!
Computer Geek: Nice seeing you too. When we hug its all boob... like im not really hugging you... just your boob lol
Me: What!? It wasn't that bad was it?! I guess that last hug was a bit awkward.
Computer Geek: Not bad.... it was similar to a lap dance lol
Me: Wait... now the true question is, did it have the same effect as a lap dance? ;)
Computer Geek: LOL i'll never tell

Random texts from Junior
And you are sexy.,., i'm sorry it slipped i mean extremely beautiful! Sweetdreams! :-D
Hey do u need me to stay and keep u company while your brother's gone????? Huh? lol
I miss you! :(
Awww thanks goodlookin

Even my brother noticed and said something...

So I had a dinner party tonight. I invited a bunch of people over and hoped for the best. It was a raving success! I never expected every invitee to actually make it, and then it turned out more came then I originally asked. I was cooking with a help of one of my best friends. I had such a blast! :) We played Guitar Hero World Tour all night. We had a grand total of 12 people. I was glad I bought extra food because we just barely had enough to go around. We got compliments on the food and everyone seemed to be having a great time. The Drummer was invited at last weekends show, I kinda threw it out there and said there were no obligations on him to come. He said he'd be there. And sure enough he brought a friend with him. I was a little nervous about having such a wide variety of my friends together, church friends and worldly friends. But it seemed to work out just fine.

So, I didn't really take a lot of consideration on how the Drummer was treating me all night. He was sweet as usual and he looked fucking hot! He was actually dressed up. Nice button top. He had his hair done. I got a text from Junior saying he didn't like The Drummer for me. I told my best friend, and she joked that it was just because The Drummer and I were flirting and it took me away from Junior. I, of course laughed and she said, "no seriously! Don't let anyone tell you he's (the Drummer) not into." She went on to say that he stayed close to me, sat right next to me during dinner, said it was obvious we were flirting and that he's into me. I beamed at this information. I have kept myself reserved from thinking too deeply on how he's treating me ever since last month when I realized how easily I fell for him.

Now, of course, I have a grin ear-to-ear and I have to be careful not to make it too obvious. I walked my friend out, and the Drummer and his friend stayed behind, they were actually the last to leave. I enjoyed noticing how often he would be turned to me, no one else would be able to get his attention. He would consistently look for my reaction. I was definitely flattered and enjoyed reviewing these little signs.

When everyone had left my brother started talking about how he was also nervous about mixing The Drummer and his friend with the church friends and how he thought it went well. And then he said that he enjoyed the Drummer's company but just wished his past wasn't so messed up. Again my brother always likes to bring out his faults around me. He had said he's heard that the Drummer went to jail for beating up a girlfriend. I had finally gotten the true story from the Drummer at the last show (which I'll go into further detail below) that he went to jail for firearms but originally teased me about the fact that he went to jail because he beat up women. When he finally turned to me after he could tell I was starting to believe it, and asked if I could believe him capable of that. I said no. So in my mind, after realizing he was joking, I think that he pulled the same joke on my brother who then believed him. Well according to my brother, after sharing I heard otherwise, said that one of his other friends witnessed it. He then said he just doesn't want The Drummer to get so comfortable with us that he does something crazy on him or someone else. I asked what he meant by someone else and he said, "well in all honesty, you. Be careful. I don't want you two to get too close. Just watch your back."

Maybe I should have taken that more seriously but I laughed to myself. I laughed because this meant my brother noticed something between the Drummer and I and he was, for the first time, making a straight forward warning. He has always complained about The Drummer, which I took as his sly way to make me think poorly of The Drummer. But this was the first time he made a comment of me and the Drummer at all together.

Anyways, at the last show (last weekend) I was actually nervous to go to because of the way the Drummer ignored me at the show last month. But it was quite the opposite, in fact he was quite attentive and adorable. We talked a lot that night. We talked for a while about the bands, I think I impressed him with my knowledge of the drums and how they're played (mostly because an ex was a drummer). Like I shared above, he informed me of why he was sent to jail. He said that he's always happy around me, or my brother, but not always happy individual. Their band (my brothers and the Drummer) had a rough set, so I went to talk to him afterwards and he opened up. After the show a few of us went to IHOP and he was there but stayed in the car. I avoided making it obvious I was concerned. I went out to the car for something and just walked up to his car door and asked if he was alright, he said he was and I didn't make a big deal, just said, ok, and then walked away. As we were leaving I decided to invite him to the dinner tonight. I was surprised at how quickly he agreed to go. Though with his track record I really didn't expect him to actually come. When I text him a reminder earlier this afternoon he responded immediately that he and his friend would be there.

So now we're caught up. I know I need to be careful with this guy. I REALLY like him. He's REALLY wrong for me. But good lord is he fuckably hot! Well I had this written last night at 2:30 in the morning but my wireless stopped working and I was too tired to reboot the thing... So I'm posting it now.

So many changes, so many possibilities!

No longer working with Computer Geek means I don't get to flirt daily with him. I miss him. He's still a doll. Shortly after I was laid off I stopped by the office and was thrilled to get to spend a couple hours talking! It's never happened that we could talk that long in one sitting. I finally met his girlfriend. I still chat with him. It's just not the same... I really miss him.

It's daylights savings time so it's actually midnight rather then 11pm. I should go to bed but I have too much on the brain to sleep. I spent the afternoon with Geek Photographer. It was fun. We went shopping for furniture to his new place. He taught me a move with tango.

I got back and saw The Drummer for the first time since I gave up my crush. Yes, the crush already died.

The story - The thing is, I actually had a serious thing for this guy in such a short amount of time. The weekend of the 21st it all came to a head. Friday he didn't end up making it to dinner because he had to have dinner with his grandparents and to be honest I felt that was an excuse which I found out the next day was not the case. Saturday he was adorably sweet. I went to a local dive bar to a show for a friends band and he was there. We didn't talk much but when it came time to leave I gave him a hug goodbye and he said he'd walk me out. My brother came over to say goodbye and questioned why he was following us. The Drummer told him he was walking me out. My brother seemed a little peeved but was like whatever. As The Drummer walked behind me he grabbed my waist, squeezed and held my waist until we reached outside where my brother was talking to his friend. Sunday he acted like I didn't exist. The band had a show and for some reason I became ultra insecure about the whole thing. He didn't treat me horrible but there was a definite difference in how he responded to me. I sometimes wonder if my brother didn't say something. And ever since then I basically decided it was time to let go of the crush...

So seeing The Drummer tonight, I wasn't sure how I'd feel, especially because in the last two weeks I realized how seriously I had fallen for him. Which is still quite surprising to me. Not the crush part, but the fact that it was such a BIG crush. I noticed I stopped eating and sleeping very well. I thought it was stress from being laid off but when I gave up the crush, sleep and my appetite came back. Crazy huh?

Tonight The Drummer was cute and adorable as ever. I know as with all my other crushes it will fluctuate based on how he treats me. But I'm not ever going to allow myself to get so wrapped up in him ever again. He never mentioned the fact that his missed every Friday night dinner since the original one, when he said he would never miss another one. But I do find it interesting that he seems to share things with me that try to convince me he's a good guy. My brother talked about watching a show of girls in bikinis traveling and sitting around talking about it. The Drummer was like, that sounds extremely dull to me. Or he always mentions when I get something that most other people don't get. But alas, he is never going to be. In the meantime though, I'll enjoy looking at him. haha

I got a call from Geek Photographer while writing the above. It's now 12:30 am according to daylight savings time. I'm getting tired. Anyways, Geek Photographer and I are going to put together a photography group that will meet about once-a-month to go take pictures. It should be cool if it actually happens. He's admitted and I've seen that he starts a lot of projects and never finishes them.

There is someone I've been texting a lot. I'm not sure what nickname to give him. He worked with me at the first ISP job I had. He and I worked together in the web development side. He was the programmer and I was the graphic artist. It was the most fun I had with web design because I got to make it look pretty and tell him what I wanted it to do and he would make it do it. I never found him very attractive and got married during this time. He's since divorced and has lost some weight. But I saw a recent picture and he looked good. He's been texting me about my recent job possibility (which I will go into soon). He invited me to the movies tonight. I didn't go because it was to go see the Watchmen and my brother really REALLY wanted to see that. So we're all going tomorrow. But I know there is something curious about him. Wondering. He's sweet. Though if memory serves me correctly he isn't the most normal person and there were lots of things that got on my nerves when we worked together. Hmmm? I'm not sure if I am going to give him a nickname because I'm not sure he'll ever be mentioned again.

So moving on to the title of this blog post. So many changes and so many possibilities! I was laid off February 13th and the company went out of business shortly after. I have been applying for jobs. Older Guy gave me an email address to an owner of a company that does similar processing that I did at my last job. I sent my resume Wednesday February 25th not thinking anything would come of it. The next day I got a call from a lady who was forwarded my resume by the owner and said I was definitely qualified for what they were looking for but she was concerned about the commute. They are located in Pasadena. An hour and a half commute without any traffic, with traffic could add an hour to that. I told her I was willing to make the commute. She said she would have to think about it and get back to me. I realized this was a job I'd really like.

So Friday as I was cleaning the house, an idea came to me. A client I used to work with at my last job switched services to this company I applied for. I knew this client loved me so I emailed him asking him to write me a letter of Recommendation to this new company which he did within moments and I forwarded that off to the owner.

It took a few days to hear anything back. I got a voicemail Wednesday March 4th by the lady asking if I was willing to come in and talk about a position they wanted to offer me. I called her back but she left for the day so I called back the next day at around the same time as the call and we set up an interview time. The issue she had was that if they offered me the position they would want me to move to Pasadena. I told her I was willing to relocate and had already addressed the possibility with my brother who was my current roomate.

I went down Friday March 6th and was scared to death. The idea of working for a company that would require relocation and living in one of my favorite cities in So Cal was a lot to think about, lets face it, hope about. I kept praying and trying to relax. It wasn't until I picked up "Battlefield of the Mind" and read the start of Chapter 15 that my heart started to calm down and realize that if this was God's will it would all happen no matter what. They would offer me enough to make the move and I would feel comfortable about making the move. The interview blew me away. The owner said he was very very impressed. He said its a rarity to talk to someone who had that much knowledge in their line of work. That it was like my entire work history was perfectly lined up with the new position they wanted me for. The timing was also something he couldn't believe. He said they had JUST gotten to the point they were ready to departmentalize what I do. They would not consider me a entry level position. Basically I knew they were happy with me. They said they would need me to take a simple test. But the offer was never laid out on the table. It was discussed that my concern about the cost of living was an issue and they said they knew the cost has even gone up in the last couple of years even. So at this point I haven't gotten the test sent to my email.

I'm blown away at how easy the interview went. It was very casual as far as I was concerned and I kept wondering what I said that made him aware of my knowledge. I'm guessing it's just the language of what we do, and I know it well enough to think it's standard knowledge. Even if they offer me less then I know I'll need to surive on, the fact the interview went so well is a boost to my ego. So now it's down to numbers. We'll see what they send over.

But... I can't help but fantasize about my life in Pasadena. I love that city! And the idea that this job would not be entry level, but it's focused in my field makes me feel that I've finally gotten my carreer off the ground! I'm no longer just meandering through jobs as they come to me. I have my niche and it's definitely specialized. I could really be blessed enough to work and live there! How awesome is that!? It's hard not to get my hopes up. I also know though, that if they offer less then what I have set in my mind, it's over... It's back to the drawing board. I won't uproot and move unless they make it worth my while.

Well now its officially 1am... I need to get to sleep. Hopefully I will hear back from them soon!

I still get surprised

Junior - Things with him have been pretty mellow. Though he sure is growing into his body. He has awesome broad shoulders, chiseled arms (from playing drums) and a thin waist. I am still surprised when he flirts with me mercilessly.

He saw me at bible study tonight. We made a lot of eye contact. Mostly inside jokes. He found out about my new crush on The Drummer and actually seemed jealous and gave me a hard time about my bad taste in men. But it was odd that it only took him one try to guess who it was that I was crushing on, so obviously he didn't think he was the farthest from gaining my affection. We were talking about how wrong for me The Drummer is, and how I tend to like things that are a bit taboo. That's when Junior reminded me that's why I like younger men with a grin ear-to-ear and his girlfriend sitting right next to him.

Either way, by the end of the evening I honestly struggled to stop checkin him out. I knew he had his gorgeous girlfriend sitting right next to him. So I thought to text him, to tell him that he was looking sexy, but decided against it. And sure enough I get a text from him saying goodnight, and how it was great to be able to hang out and talk and that he must admit he thought I looked "pretty darn cute like always!" I took that as my queue to admit I was thinking the same of him and had to keep myself from checkin him out and closed with sweet dreams cutie. Sure enough his reply was something to the extent of goodnight goodlookin and maybe we'll run into each other in our dreams with a wink.

And here I'm thinking, he has a gorgeous girlfriend, why in the world is he even flirting with me? I mean I know it's not like he's going to leave her for me or anything just because he flirted with me. But its just so odd that he would even think of me when he's sitting right next to someone so beautiful. It's sweet. It's dangerous. Maybe that's why I like it so much. Maybe that's the key to why I can't find a decent guy. The decent guys aren't presented in a taboo situation. Ah well, moving on.

Sunday after church I was giving his girlfriend a hug and we did that awkward which way do you lean thing and I joked that I was almost about to kiss her. Like a moment later Junior tells us, well you just should have. I was actually clueless, his girlfriend had to explain this to me. Tonight was no different. There was something said about me and her almost kissing and he said in his dreams. lol That kid is crazy!

The Drummer - He stopped by the house Tuesday night to pick up his equipment. He was attentive. Asking if I had plans for the evening, which I did. We joked around a bit. And as he walked out the door he asked what we were cooking Friday! I asked him if he still planned on making it and sure enough he does! He said to just let him know what we needed him to bring. Now suddenly I'm nervous about it. I know my crush is to such an extent it's obvious that I like him when he's around. I told my best friend she's gonna have to pinch me if I make it too obvious.

I found out from my brother The Drummer is coming over tomorrow night to record some vocals for his other band. So looks like I'll be seeing him again. (sigh) <-- That isn't a romantic sigh, it's a sigh wondering what the heck I'm thinking! I can't wait to see him again. And yet I've been asking everyone for prayer. I don't want to get all wrapped up in this guy. I'm lonely right now, he would not be good for me. So I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I figure I'll be slapped back into reality soon enough when I see or hear about some skanky chick he's sleeping with. Though I haven't heard much about his relationships, past or present. But in my mind, they probably aren't much of relationships, but more one-nighters. Isn't that a horrible way to view a crush? As a slutty guy? Odd. I'm going to bed.

Oh no... Another one to add to the list

What is it with me and drummers? My first kiss was a drummer... My first boyfriend was a drummer... If I ever start crushing on someone and find out they're in a band, what instrument do they (mostly) end up playing? Drums... Junior plays drums at church. I always joked that I liked drummers' rhythm. ;) Anyways, we have a new one to add to my list of men. I will call him The Drummer. Though with my track record, I'll have to start labeling them, Drummer 1, Drummer 2, Drummer 3... well you get the picture.

The Drummer - He's in my brother's band. It didn't take me long to start crushing. He's good looking, funny and personable. I never felt a major crush till this weekend though. He's my typical type physically: skinny, ripped and tall. There are other things that make him not my typical type. He's a bit "punk". He has a mohawk, not all the time but when he does shows. He's tatted up which goes along with most of the drummers I've liked.

Anyways, I've always been physically attracted to him. I don't remember the day I realized I liked him more then the other guys in the band. When I realized I didn't want him to see me looking crappy. The thing is, he's seen me at my worst. Pjs, no makeup, hair not even brushed.

Yesterday was Valentines Day. The band was at my place practicing. We were talking about the bassist not getting any flowers from his girlfriend for valentines day and how he would have liked something. I mentioned that I'm one of those girls that get flowers for the guys I'm dating. The Drummer said something about it being too bad I was my brother's sister. Now this isn't the first time he's mentioned it. But the look he gave me made me realize he meant it. And the bassist tried to explain it and The Drummer stopped him and said that he knew I understood exactly what he meant by that. (And the meaning is, my brother is quite protective. Him disliking my sisters boyfriend, who happens to be a friend he grew up with, means his friends know my brother isn't cool with his friends dating his sisters.)

Either way, on my way to pick up the pizza for the guys, I stopped to get the bassist a flower. I got back and honestly The Drummer seemed more impacted by the fact that I had done that for the bassist then the bassist himself. Lets just say, I think I got myself a couple more brownie points in his book.

The rest of the night was him and I flirting. He always looked for my reaction. Any time we got too close he'd joke that my brother wouldn't be too happy about it. There was one point we were on the couch watching the rest of the band play Guitar Hero World Tour and I had a hard time concentrating. He was always turning to look at me and being so close it was invading my personal space, which of course I didn't mind, but it made for some intense stares. Another time he decided he needed to show me his sixpack, which honestly was so fucking hot, I had to turn away. I laughed at the cliche' of me biting my lip to keep from saying something I'd regret. I took a deep breath and turned around and, lets be honest, couldn't help but want to fuck him. Any chance he had, he was over by me talking about his latest escapades. It seemed he was trying to make sure I realized he was a good guy. He just turned 40 the day before last so he was explaining the events surrounding his day.

I noticed the other guys in the band starting to tease us, making jokes about being careful around my brother, saying it was too bad my brother was so overly-protective otherwise I could go out with the guys. The Drummer was making fun of the Sweet Home Alabama song and putting lyrics in that were redneck, about loving a sister, one of the band members said, don't say that too loudly... You don't want her brother to hear you say you love his sister. Of course this was RIGHT in front of my brother. Who then said, oh no, not another guy like my sisters boyfriend (Sadly my sisters boyfriend is a bit of a loser). Another thing is The Drummer isn't working (like my sisters boyfriend) and the bassist joked that since I lost my job The Drummer would be asking if he could stop by.

The thing is, my brother lately has been putting The Drummer down. It's almost like he noticed something and wanted to make sure I wouldn't go out with him. The thing is, The Drummer is really REALLY not good for me. He's a drinker, partier, I can only imagine how many women he sleeps with. He's been to jail. My brother tells me why and I'm not sure I believe it. I need to find out the truth from him.

Last night I couldn't sleep. It's obvious to me I need to get laid because I couldn't stop fantasizing about him and what he could do to me. I kept thinking I must be making it up because how could someone so cut, good looking, like someone like me. But then I'd remember how his closest friend in the band is the one making comments about The Drummer and I, that even he was noticing something. Whether The Drummer would ever act on it, I highly doubt it, but just knowing he is interested makes me feel good.

Today the band was over again. Today, it was a little less flirty. Though my brother told the guys that my best friend and I have been cooking every Friday night to help teach me how to cook. The Drummer then brought it up to me and said he'll be joining us from now on and that he's pretty good in the kitchen. I joked with my best friend that I'm sure he is pretty good in more then just the kitchen. Anyways... we'll see if that happens.

I feel foolish.